It was only a matter of time before the good folks at Woodrocket.com realized that there is a sizable demographic who would love to see some hot Ninja Turtle XXX action! You can now watch all your favorite characters from the beloved ’90s comic get down and dirty in the sewers in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles XXX parody, “Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles.” That’s right, these guys are really “cumming out of [their] shells” in this hilarious and hot porn parody.
“You know what porn is the best porn? Pizza guy porn!” April O’Neil and Spreader (the hot female version of Shredder) are going to get a serious taste of Michelangeblow’s, Dongatello’s, and Raphallus’ “turtle wax.” There’s even Master Sphincter (“I am a furry”)! Get ready for these horny Ninja Turtles to “show you the secret of the ooze, the secret of the splooge!” Cowabunga, dudes!
Are you a dude looking to “rock out with your cock out”? Let’s get “50 shades of green” right here!
WoodRocket.com recently made a video asking adult film actresses what they look for in a dick. And even though these desirable women are dick-experts, their answers range as much as the porn stars themselves. Here’s what they said (check out the video below). Many viewers assume a massive pornstar dick size is standard in the industry, but the real preferences of these performers might surprise you. Knowing the typical average pornstar penis size helps bridge the gap between cinematic fantasy and physical reality.
Porn Star Penis Size Preferences of Top Performers
To answer the question “what’s your ideal penis size,” porn star Kayla-Jane Danger said, “I have one. At home.” Arabelle Raphael said, “I’ve met wonderful cocks in all different varieties.” Some ladies liked them “large and in charge,” anywhere from 7 to 10 inches. But Shyla Jennings doesn’t need a giant schlong: “They don’t have to be super big, if a man knows how to use his junk.” Sheridian Love just needs a dick “big enough to fit between my tits but still pop out over the top.” Most of the ladies liked an average-sized dick (5.16 inches, according to a study last year), and didn’t love “porn dick,” which can leave them walking funny for a few days. Some porn stars cared more about girth than length—as Jeze Belle put it, “Chode. Like a soup can.” But really it all comes down to what the dick is being used for: “My butt’s gonna like something different than my pussy that’s gonna like something different than my mouth.” Well put!
To break down these preferences further, we can look at how specific stars view the ideal penis size and compare real pornstar penis sizes against common perceptions. Here is the direct breakdown of their feedback:
Kayla-Jane Danger – Prefers her partner’s size at home, emphasizing that personal intimacy and technical chemistry outvalue standard industry measurements.
Arabelle Raphael – Appreciates wide physical variety, explaining that pleasure is highly adaptable across different dimensions, contours, and physical textures.
Shyla Jennings – Prioritizes angles and technique, noting that a partner who knows how to position his hips can easily satisfy a partner without relying on a large porn star dick size.
Sheridian Love – Prefers a length suited for chest-intercourse, requiring enough extension to pop over the top of her breasts during a chest compression session.
Jeze Belle – Prioritizes width and fullness, explicitly favoring a chode-like shape for the deep internal stretch and vaginal wall friction it creates.
The Science of Average Porn Star Penis Size vs. Civilian Reality
While the average penis size in porn is frequently showcased as being upwards of 7 or 8 inches, scientific data reveals a different story for everyday men. A highly cited meta-analysis conducted by Dr. David Veale and published in BJU International (2015) reviewed measurements from over 15,000 men globally. The study determined that the average erect penis length is actually 5.16 inches (13.12 cm) with an average erect girth of 4.59 inches (11.66 cm). This aligns closely with the preferences of most adult film actresses who explicitly stated they prefer comfortable, everyday proportions over exhausting industry shapes.
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Check out WoodRocket’s video about the ideal dick on Huffington Post and watch the video below:
Finally, the porn parody you never knew you wanted is here with none other than recent GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump. The Donald is following in the footsteps of Sarah Palin and Hilary Clinton as the most recent WoodRocket.com XXX political parody. Lee Roy Myers, the brainchild behind such porn parodies as Bob’s Boners, Game of Bones, and Spongebob Squarenuts said that his decision to make a Trump porno was a no-brainer.
“…we’ve really felt like there was a need to spoof him. Because of what WoodRocket does, spoofing him with penetration seems like the right way to go,” Myer said in an interview with the Daily Beast. Donald Tramp stars porn actor Dick Chibbles, who sports a ridiculous toupee and orange spray tan while yelling un-politically correct, bombastic absurdities. So, naturally you’re wondering what the sex is like. Myers said, “We wanted the sex to be a parody of how Trump would have sex. It’s definitely one of the weirdest things we’ve shot, and we’ve shot a Pokemon porn parody.” Dick Chibbles admitted that besides trying to stay in character without cracking up, keeping that monstrosity of a wig on while getting hot and heavy was definitely no task for “losers!”
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If, for some strange reason, you want to check out more about Donald Tramp, you can do so here.
