A recent study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that a person’s sexual satisfaction has a lot to do with their beliefs. The study’s researchers focused on two pervasive beliefs: that good sex comes from working at it with their partner (sexual growth) or that it’s the result of natural compatibility (sexual destiny). To figure out which perspective leads to better sex, the researchers first measured where participants fell on the spectrum of sexual beliefs, and then asked them questions like “Sexual relationships often fail because people do not try hard enough” and “If a relationship is meant to be, sex is easy and wonderful.”

Ultimately, researchers found that “individuals reported more positive sexual experiences and higher relationship quality when they more strongly endorsed the notion that sexual satisfaction requires work.” They also found that those who believed in a so-called “sexual soulmate,” or someone who can magically fulfill them sexually without any effort or work, had much more frustrating, disappointing sex. Interestingly, men tended to believe in sexual destiny much more than women—probably because women often have to work harder than men to achieve sexual satisfaction. The study shows that it’s important to put romantic myths aside and focus on what actually creates a long-term, sexually fulfilling sex life: effort and hard work!

Looking for some sexually satisfying experiences yourself? Come roll up your sleeves and get to work right here!

Check out more about the study that shows that those who believe in sexual soulmates have worse sex:https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/people-who-believe-in-a-sexual-soulmate-have-worse-sex-study-says