The 3 Types of Sex Every Couple Should Have

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Image Source: Flickr - 434pics

Let’s face it, having regular, good sex is great for a relationship. And once you’ve been in a relationship for long enough, you start to notice the different types of sex you’re having and how mixing them up can keep things interesting. That’s why the bestselling author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus advises all couples to make sure they’re having these 3 types of sex on a regular basis to heighten their intimacy and keep things spicy in the bedroom.

  1. Romantic “Gourmet” Sex
    This is the type of sex that includes thoughtful planning before the main event. Picture a romantic evening followed by a candle-lit bedroom set up complete with sensual music. “You’ve had all evening to build up the tension, and then you release it through sex,” the author says. “That’s gourmet sex.”
  2. Healthy “Home-Cooked” Sex
    This is your regular, no-frills but still awesome sex. It takes less time and effort than romantic sex—maybe 15 or 20 minutes of foreplay before getting down to business—but couples should make time for it at least once or twice a week.
  3. Quickie Sex
    Whether it’s a handjob, blowjob, or a quick 3-minute fuck, this is meant to be an in-and-out kind of thing squeezed in between busy schedules. You don’t need to take your time here, which is all part of the fun!

Feel like spicing things up in the bedroom yourself? We definitely know how to keep things fun and interesting here!

Check out more about the 3 types of sex every couple should be having here.

One Million Moms Outraged By the New, Sexually Charged Muppets

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Artwork by NACHO DIAZ @ NaolitoArt.com

You might remember One Million Moms from their tirades against basically anything gay or fun on television (like a lesbian yogurt ad, for example. No, seriously). Well, they’re back again to shake their fists furiously at the TV over the latest controversy—a new Muppets show that is apparently much too racy for impressionable youngsters. That’s right, One Million Moms is starting a campaign against the no longer “family-friendly” show, stating: “One ad read, ‘Finally, a network TV show with full frontal nudity.’ Technically, the advertisement is correct – seeing how Kermit doesn’t wear pants.”

Not only are they outraged over a pantless frog, but also Miss Piggy’s openly “pro-choice feminist” interview on MSNBC. “The puppet characters loved by kids in the 1970s and 1980s and beyond are now weighing in on abortion and promiscuity,” One Million Moms says. While these people are clearly crazy, there have actually been other, sane people who have also commented on all the sexy antics of the new show, which focuses quite a bit on romantic relationships. In a recently released video, Kermit gets come-fuck-me eyes from a lusty Muppet (not Miss Piggy; scandalous!), Miss Piggy, aka The Makeout Queen, cheats on Kermit, and Fozzie Bear’s special lady friend’s parents scold her for “being intimate” with wildlife.

Here’s more about the new, sexy Muppets!

Models Strut the Runway With Cartoon Cocks

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379713604_55bdd97d3d_zAttendees of New York City Fashion Week got quite a surprise at Namilia’s cheeky runway show filled with cocks and pussies! The show was titled “My Pussy, My Choice,” and drew its inspiration from contemporary female pop stars who seek empowerment through expressing their sexuality and celebrating their bodies. “Each outfit is named for one of Namilia’s inspirations (e.g. ‘daddy’s girl Lana,’ ‘sweet Ariana,’ ‘crazy Miley,’ ‘Nicki anaconda’),” according to Slate.

Their playful collection includes banana and peach emojis, giant inflatable snakes, and sparkly cartoonish penises in sexy, transparent latex. “It’s like playing the penis game,” Namilia said of their cheeky use of the phallus. “The more often and louder you say it, the more harmless it becomes.” Shockingly, the garments are ready-to-wear, so a woman can conveniently slip on some hyper-sexualized female empowerment to go with any of her tennis shoes! We mean, who doesn’t love an adorable cock purse with matching cock bra?!

Feel like having some sexy and empowering experiences yourself? We are all about finding expression through celebrating sexuality here!

Check out images of “My Pussy, My Choice” here.

Ethicists Campaign Against Sex Robots

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sexrobotsApparently, there’s such a thing as “robot ethicists.” And, even stranger, they have launched something called the Campaign Against Sex Robots, which is an attempt to ban the development of robotic sex toys. Considering the next wave of pleasure bots is fast approaching, and also considering the popularity of current mechanical pleasure toys, these ethicists sure have their work cut out for them.

Sex robot developers are already working to bring A.I. into their products. One company’s much hyped forthcoming design, Roxxxy, that’s being called “the world’s first sex robot” is set to be released on the market this year. It’s priced at $7,000—and already has thousands of pre-orders despite the hefty price tag! While sex robot enthusiasts love the life-like sex toys that give them companionship and a more realistic sexual experience, robot ethicists are against these types of products because they believe they will be detrimental to human relationships and to women in general. Though the campaign seeks a ban on all sex robots, it seems safe to say that for now sex robots are definitely in our future.

In the mood for some pleasurable companionship yourself? Ain’t nothing like the real thing, baby!

Here’s more about the campaign against sex robots.

How To Have Sex With a Much Taller Person

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shortsexIf you’ve ever had sex with someone who’s much taller than you, you’ve probably experienced the frustrations of trying to get it on with your head stuck in an armpit or squished against a nipple. But there are plenty of ways to have great sex without letting height differences get in the way. Here are some tips to maximize sex with a much taller person.

  1. Experiment with different ways of fucking
    Height differences are the most pronounced during sex when the pelvises need to be perfectly aligned (i.e., missionary position). Try other types of fucking that won’t make someone towering over you so obvious: hand job, head, using sex toys, masturbating together, anal play, the options are endless!
  2. Try different positions
    Basically, any position where your bodies are perpendicular is key. Receiving partner on top is a good position where height differences won’t matter much. Getting bent over a chair, table, or bed works. Explore and have fun!
  3. Use props
    Thick pillows like couch cushions are great for propping up your hips. You can also use chairs and stools around your home to make your hips the same height. Or you can invest in sex pillows and wedges for a sturdy, sexy boost.

Feel like getting a sexy boost yourself? We know all types of ways to prop you up here!

Want more tips for how to have sex with a much taller person? Here ya go!

Amber Rose Struts Her Sexy Stuff in ‘The Walk of No Shame’

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Amber Rose is doing what Amber Rose does best in the new Funny or Die video, “The Walk of No Shame.” In this amazing public service announcement, she confidently struts her stuff the morning after a one night stand wearing a tight, sexy little black dress and lacy bra, carrying her shoes in hand and waving at all the suburban townspeople. One woman gives her side-eyes and proclaims, “Heavens! It seems as though that woman hasn’t been home since last night…Congratulations!”

walkofnoshameAnother older woman smiles approvingly and says, “In my day, I was no stranger to the walk of shame.” To which Amber Rose responds, “No shame here!” Then, in probably the funniest moment of the sketch, a construction worker yells, “I respect that you enjoyed yourself last night! I think we can all agree: having sex is fun!” Rose winks, “Oh, yes it is!” And as she struts past a little boy who asks, “Mommy, did that woman get fucked last night?” Rose replies: “Oh hell yeah!” In the end, when the mayor hands her the keys to the city for celebrating her body, she quips, “I always celebrate my body! Sometimes twice a day!”

Feel like having a fun, empowering experience yourself? Come strut our way! Ain’t no shame in getting laid!

Watch Funny or Die’s “The Walk of No Shame” video.

Meet the Man Who Took 35 Viagra Pills and Got a 5-Day Erection

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viagraHave you ever eaten a super hot chili pepper or jumped into a freezing body of water for laughs? Well, one man thought it would be hilarious to take 35 viagra pills just to see what happened—and ended up with a 5-day boner! After drinking with his buddies and popping Viagra for kicks, the man’s vision turned green (a Viagra side effect called cyanopsia) and he reported “a massive erection that would not go away” to his wife, who immediately took him to the hospital.

After a 36 hour stay, the man was discharged and instructed to stay on bed rest—but unfortunately for him, his cock didn’t much feel like resting! He told The Sun, “It wasn’t a permanent erection but every time I brushed against something for five days it sprang into life—and it was no use to me.” The man ended up with a 5-day erection, which luckily for him was the worst of his problems. There have been many documented cases where those who have overdosed on Viagra have not fared nearly as well. For starters, there’s the very serious 4-hour erection known as priapism that can cause permanent erectile disfunction if not treated soon enough. Fortunately for this guy, the nurses and medics laughing at his boner was his worst side effect.

Feel like having an uplifting experience yourself? We can make you spring to life right here!

Here’s more about the guy who got a 5-day boner.

‘The Golden Girls’ Like You’ve Never Seen Them Before in XXX Parody

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via Youtube

via Youtube

To celebrate The Golden Girls 30th anniversary, Hustler decided to give the feisty ladies the ultimate tribute with its porn parody, This Ain’t The Golden Girls XXX. The Golden Girls was a cutting edge show in the way that it showed that age doesn’t necessarily mean death of the libido. And for a show that pushed back against sexist double-standards by its sassy ladies never shying away from sex, the porn parody truly celebrates their lust for life.

The porn parody stays true to the show’s message that older women can still be sexy and sexual. Its cast is made up of older, seasoned adult film actresses, including Karen Summer who made a comeback with her portrayal of Sophia after a 20-year hiatus. “It was like the old days of porn. We had scripts, and wardrobe, a full crew and a couple of days shooting,” says Summer. The ladies in Golden Girls XXX definitely take the innuendos and saucy dialogue up a notch with the hardcore sex scenes—gray wigs and all! But most importantly, the parody proves that women can still love sex and getting frisky at age 60 and up.

Feel like getting frisky yourself? Come celebrate your lust for life with some very feisty ladies right here!

Want more about This Ain’t The Golden Girls XXX? Here ya go!

Hilarious Messages Real Women Have Gotten on Dating Sites

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Image Source: Flickr.com by i_am_fry/Most women who have tried dating sites have had at least one hilariously weird encounter. Whether it’s an unsolicited dick pic, a strange pick up line, or a straight up random invitation to bone, women understand that when they look for love online, some strange encounters will likely ensue. Here are some real women sharing their strangest, most hilarious messages from dating sites.

  1. “I love older women and my mom said I could borrow her car!”
    Women love it when a man—ahem, boy—takes charge!
  2. “Honestly, I wanna put you in some sexual positions!”
    This guy gets right to the point!
  3. “I love it when a girl squishes spiders.” 
    If you’re not on a kinky fetish site, this might not be the best way to introduce yourself…
  4. “If you step between my legs, I will climax.”
    This is like some bad, plagiarized erotica.
  5. “You look like a hot, spoiled brat.”
    We guess some men are into that?!
  6. “I just got out of jail. Been lonely.”
    At least this dude’s got nothing to hide?
  7. “I’m dtf [down to fuck] and my lunch break is in 20 minutes.”
    This guy doesn’t waste any time!

Feel like having some sexy encounters with real women yourself? We are always DTF here!

Here are more hilarious messages from dating sites.

The Fetish of Laying Alien Eggs Inside Your Body

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Images Source: Primal Hardwere

The newest thing in weird sex fetishes: a dildo that is used to implant “alien eggs” inside yourself. The unusual sex toy is called a Ovipositor, which is basically an intimidating looking dildo that “lays goopy eggs molded from gelatin in the body cavity of your choice,” according to Vice. Alien egg fetishists say they get off on the sensation of mushy alien ovum overflowing from their bodies. So here’s what the entrepreneur says of the fetish he describes as “enormous egg-laying alien dicks.”

“The idea is to replicate the act of being impregnated with eggs. Usually from an alien or insect. If you’ve seen the Aliens movies, you’llget the picture,” the man who goes by Lone Wolf says. Since many people find laying alien eggs inside oneself arousing, he came up with the idea to create a hollow, phallus-shaped dildo to insert the gelatin eggs. Lone Wolf says the fetishists who like his product are just regular people from all different cultures. In explaining the weird fetish, Lone Wolf says, “It blurs the line of our own humanity to find sexual pleasure with something that is so far from human, and for some, just talking about it gets them wet.”

Feel like indulging your own fetish? Human or alien, we are open to all kinds of kinky stuff here!

Check out more about the alien egg fetish here.