Vanessa stepped fully formed from the dark, smoky depths of a meteor impact crater in search of coffee, bourbon, clove cigarettes and a place to take naughty pictures
She found the Internet, she likes it here, and she is not going to leave, even if you tell her to. That's how technology works, babe.
I am, I am proud to say, responsible for a litany of depraved, perverted, and utterly satisfying acts of selfless exhibitionism all over the Internet!
If you don't believe me, have a look below at an anthology of exploits past, available for download.
Bring yourself up to speed, eh?
Or wait, and talk to me personally, that's when the fun really starts.