I needed a greater purpose, something worth fighting for and far more danger in my life, just like you do too. So I used all the dirty little tricks I learned from corporate america to help organize and orchestrate the greatest mind fuck ever played on capitalism! I made the mainstream media want more and more and more of me just cause I had the balls to say the magic word “anarchy” on air.
My game is so charismatic that many people in OWS accused me of trying to turn the movement into the Harrison Schultz show. Indeed, NBC even ripped off my appearance, identity and even things I actually said on air to make some stupid fucking prime time hit show called American Odyssey. My own mother thought that this photo of tiny bopping hearth throb Jake Robinson was actually a photo of me.
But whatever. My h8ters in the movement can suck my mAnarchist spartacus cock cause I never woulda gotten on air at all if had marched down Wall Street with my real freak flag flying like I’m about to while I occupy your bank account you 1% wannabe mother fucker! Oh yes, I haven’t forgotten about you at all yet slave. But shut your needy little mind the fuck up, I wasn’t finished introducing myself yet. It’ll take a little more patience than you probably have in order for you to perceive, let alone even properly appreciate my genius. OWS knows little if anything of my shady past and ongoing hobbies traveling the hemisphere studying esoteric martial arts or my scandalous sociological research on deviant behavior, hypnosis, BDSM and everyday methods of sadomasochism at the New School where I’m finishing my PhD.You should consider yourselves extra fortunate for the opportunity to give me your hard earned $money$ because I’m honestly usually I’m too busy having my way with beautiful women who make more money than I do to have the time to deal with the likes of you.
I'm so good at keeping women occupied with my giant brain, my penetrating gaze and my silver tongue that I scored a side gig and some fun headlines I’ll make you read as a male escort for a company called RentaGent!
But let’s face it. There just aren’t enough rich women making enough yet in this patriarchal society to pay me the $money$ I need to fund the army of real women who take care of my endless needs, not to mention of all extra anonymous hedonism necessary to feed an intellect such as mine. All the consent, negotiation and aftercare just gets tedious and spoils all my fun sometimes.
But that’s where you silly little detestable findom faggots come into my calculations to come all over the face of capitalism. You're gonna help me fuck the monetary system up the ass with a giant dildo made for the assholes of the 1% called the NEED Act, an actual bill in congress. The NEED Act is going to end your enslavement to the 1% and their private banking cartel forever so that your enslavement to me may begin! You think that money you work so hard to give me is real? Let’s talk about what’s real and what’s not while I make you confess and hallucinate all of the dirty little fucked up fantasies you use in order to escape the reality of your slavery to the dollar the Fed. I am going to make you feel useful for once in your meaningless life. You will actually feel this strange little thing called pride knowing that you called me to confess and purge your fucked up fantasies for the ultimate cause of real freedom!I'm ready for your confession as soon as you are slave. Make the call!