Wimbledon Fans Told To Refrain From Fucking In Quiet Rooms

Wimbledon is cracking down on everyone’s favorite spot to fuck. Officials warned fans the venue will be monitoring the quiet rooms, aka the not-so-secret XXX “sanctuary.” Last year numerous couples were caught using it as a spot for a perverse game of doubles.

“It’s a really important space. So, we will be retaining it and we’ll be making sure that people are using it the right way,” said the chief executive of the All England Lawn Tennis Club. Last season, numerous couples were spotted with “big grins” sneaking out of the quiet room, which is outfitted with two armchairs, a foldaway table, and phone-charging facilities—some were even caught in the act. Spectators reported hearing intimate noises distinct from the oohs and aahs of the tennis-watching crowd emitting from the room.

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About Madge

Fluent in innuendo. Certified in orgasms. Madge writes like she talks: directly, confidently, and with a wink you can practically hear. With years in the field and a professional's eye for what actually works (and what's just noise), she covers everything from the art of a great tease to the mechanics of phone sex done right. She's dominant by nature and educational by trade, which means she'll tell you exactly what to do and exactly why it works. Equal parts wicked and wise, Madge leaves the fluffing to someone else. She delivers results. What she writes about: Flirt of the Week features (she's got an eye for talent) Take Care of Yourself Tuesdays (self-care, her way, non-negotiable) The real mechanics of great phone sex Confidence, control, and knowing exactly what you're doing What your Zodiac sign says about your bedroom style (yes, even Scorpios get fact-checked.) Fun facts: Alphabetizes her bookshelf by author, then by how much she'd trust that author in bed. Takes her coffee the way she takes control: no sugar, no hesitation. Has cleared a pool table before her opponent got a single shot, and made it look like she was barely trying. Can bend over backwards. Won’t. The neighborhood cat still avoids eye contact (she knows why.)

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