Tag Archives: sex

8 Dirty Tweets From 2017 That You’ll Still Be Laughing At In 2018

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kgoalboostIt was a good year for raunchy tweets. That’s why we found some that were so funny you can still enjoy them next year! Here are 8 dirty tweets that you’ll still remember come (pun intended) 2018.

  1. “My mum asked if I had anything to suck on during the flight; apparently ‘idk what does the pilot look like’ wasn’t an acceptable answer.” Sorry, ma—trying to join the Mile High Club!
  2. “‘No sex before marriage.’
    ‘Say it after me.’” Exactly.
  3. “*reads motivational makeup bag: ‘If at first you don’t succeed fix your ponytail and try again.’
    Is this about sucking dick?” Obviously. And it’s good advice, too!
  4. “You know the pussy good when you pull yo dick out, and it sound like you refreshing yo TL.” Mmm, nothing more refreshing and delicious!
  5. “Every time u yawn in October, a ghost put his dick in ur mouth.” OMG! Yes!
  6. “reading sexts you sent when ur not horny anymore and u can’t believe those things went thru ur head.” It’s true…
  7. “‘did you cum?’
    ‘yeah to my senses, get out of my house.’”     We’ve all been there.
  8. “@Gordon Ramsay: ‘This I why I love meat…’
    @andywarhella: ‘when the pipe got ya legs shakin and ya eyes rollin back in ur head.’” Where’s the beef?

Looking for some naughty fun? We’ve got just what you need to end 2017 on a high note on NiteFlirt.

Check out more raunchy tweets that will keep you laughing in the new year: https://www.buzzfeed.com/genamourbarrett/the-worst-things-to-happen-to-food-in-2017

Sex Before Bed Is The Secret For A Better Night’s Sleep, Says Study

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white-1822497_640Forget about drinking warm milk before bed—according to a new study, the secret to getting a good night’s sleep is sex. Researchers found that two thirds of people slept better after having sex and achieving an orgasm. According to the study’s lead sleep researcher, people should “switch off their phones, and switch on their libidos.”

Researchers believe people might sleep better after getting off with a partner because sex is the perfect distraction before bed—not to mention the best relaxer. The findings from the study support an earlier study done by Oxford that found a combination of sex and a good night’s sleep had the biggest impact on well-being. As the study’s lead researcher said, “(t)here’s strong evidence to suggest substituting screen time for play time.”

Looking for a sexy distraction? Come switch on your libido right here on NiteFlirt!

Check out more about the study that shows sex is the best way to get a good night’s sleep: https://nypost.com/2017/12/03/sex-before-bedtime-is-the-secret-for-a-better-nights-sleep-study/

11 Funny Tweets About Female Masturbation

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Image Source: Flickr.com | WillVisionThe comedians of Twitter did not “beat around the bush” with these hilarious tweets about female masturbation. Let’s just say you’ll be laughing until your batteries run out! Here are 11 funny tweets about rubbing one out.

  1. “is ‘beatboxing’ a good euphemism for female masturbation? asking for a friend. she’s a world class beatboxer.” Perfect euphemism…for your friend.
  2. “Did Catholic school ruin my chances at a healthy relationship with my vibrator.” We’ll pray for you.
  3. “Why is it called masturbation and not beating around your bush?” The important questions in life.
  4. “M: *drunk* This vibrator isn’t working.
    H: *from another room* HAS ANYONE SEEN THE REMOTE?”     Whoops!
  5. “I’ll take the batteries out of the TV remote to use in my vibrator. IDGAF.” Get ‘er done!
  6. “Anything’s a dildo if you’re  brave enough.” What you call brave, we call resourceful!
  7. “I bought batteries for my toothbrush but put them in my vibrator instead because priorities.” #lifegoals
  8. “Shower sex.
    Only it’s me and my vibrator getting it on.”     Nothing wrong with a little me-time!
  9. “‘Let’s call them robots in disguise!’
    ‘We’ve already decided they’re personal massagers.’
    -Carl gets outvoted at the vibrator ad meeting.”     Robot personal massagers?
  10. “Remember when a selfie stick was just called a dildo?” The good ol’ days.
  11. “Ugh – NEVER going to a Ryan Gosling movie in a theater again. Apparently masturbating in the back row is still considered ‘inappropriate'” But not uncommon for a Ryan Gosling movie, let’s be honest.

In the mood for some quality entertainment? Come check out our beatboxing skills on NiteFlirt!

Here’s more funny tweets about female masturbation: https://www.buzzfeed.com/crystalro/hilarious-tweets-about-masturbating-by-women-for-women

Viagra Factory In Ireland Turns Men Into Walking Stiffs

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viagraAn Irish Viagra factory is making it hard for residents to ever leave. Townspeople claim the fumes from the factory which manufactures the erectile dysfunction drug are arousing the local men. “One whiff and you’re stiff,” local bartender Debbie O’Grady said.

Village dwellers have long enjoyed free access to the drug, never having to pay a cent for its “love fumes.” “It’s amazing the number of people who come to this village, perhaps out of curiosity, and then never leave. There’s something in the air,” a townsperson says. Some residents claim there was baby boom after the Viagra factory opened around 1998. Though no one knows for sure whether there is actually “love in the air,” residents have this to say for sure: “We’re just happy.”

Looking for a little happiness yourself? We can arouse your curiosity right here on NiteFlirt!

Check out more about the Irish Viagra factory that gives men boners: https://nypost.com/2017/12/04/viagra-factory-is-turning-men-in-this-town-into-walking-stiffs/

8 Low-Key Sex Toys That Even The TSA Won’t Catch

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Let’s face it, if you’re traveling over the holidays, the TSA is probably going to find out about your sex toy preferences. So to avoid awkward run-ins with strangers, we’ve compiled the sneakiest little sex toys to stash away in your luggage. You’ll save space and only you will know their true purpose.sexydice

  1. Tenga Iroha Stick Vibrator
    This vibrator looks just like a lipstick, so it’ll blend in seamlessly with the rest of the items in your makeup bag.
  2. Little Rooster S
    The Little Rooster is actually an alarm-activated vibrator. As Refinery29 says, “Sleep with it tucked into your underwear and wake up happy.”
  3. LELO MIA 2
    Sleek and about the size of a lipstick, this USB chargeable vibrator is basically your perfect travel companion.
  4. Adam and Eve I Rub My Duckie
    This little duckie wins first place for the most discreet sex toy. Just don’t let this little guy get mixed up with the children’s toys this holiday!
  5. Ooh By Je Joue No. 3 Cock Ring Electric Blue
    What’s not to love about a cock ring that could pass for a keychain?
  6. Dame Products Eva
    The Eva vibrator is so small and cute no one will ever know it’s a wearable clit vibrator. It’s perfect for going hands-free during penetrative sex.
  7. Crave Vesper
    You can wear this vibrator around your neck as a fashionable pendant. Bonus points for optional engraving if you want to make it a gift.
  8. Fun Factory Flexi Felix
    These anal beads are super low-key—if anyone asks, just say it’s a pool toy.

Looking for something discreet? Let’s get sneaky on NiteFlirt!

Check out more low-key sex toys: https://www.refinery29.com/2016/07/115976/discreet-sex-toys#slide-9

Johnny Depp Has a Threesome In Marilyn Manson’s Steamy New Video

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166582112_9074d75bb2_zJohnny Depp has an exciting new role in Marilyn Manson’s x-rated music video. Playing a voyeuristic video editor, Johnny Depp takes off all his clothes and simulates a seriously racy bedroom scene with two models who’ve seduced him. And it gets better: both guys strip completely naked for the dangerously hot threesome.

The king of shock rock doesn’t disappoint with the threesome scene—it shows Depp rolling in the sheets with the two women, simulating a number of sexual acts. The group writhes around on a giant bed as Depp and the women take turns mounting each other—with a cameo by Marilyn Manson. Manson has this to say about the scandalous video: “At the end, when you see the underwear burning, those are mine — and that’s Johnny’s lighter — he burnt my f—king underwear!”

Looking for some hot action? We can always shock you here on NiteFlirt!

Check out more about Johnny Depp’s threesome in the new Marilyn Manson video: https://pagesix.com/2017/11/15/johnny-depp-has-a-threesome-in-pal-marilyn-mansons-new-video

This Is How Popular Squirting Is In Your State

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imagesDo you like to watch squirting videos? If so, you’re not alone—Pornhub just released data showing that squirting porn has become increasingly popular on the website in the last few years, and has remained one of the site’s most popular searches. While it’s continuously in the Top 20 categories of videos, it is the most popular among women.

In case you’re wondering how popular it is state-by-state, Pornhub also released data which shows that squirting porn is particularly popular in the states of Wyoming, Montana, Utah, and Nebraska. On the other hand, people in California, New Jersey, Maryland, and New York are the least interested. Considering the depressing reality of how few women actually reach orgasm in porn—18.3% of women, compared to 78.0% of men—squirting porn and its popularity is definitely something to cheer about.

Got a hankering for something in particular? We’ve got just what you’re looking for right here on NiteFlirt!

Check out more about how popular squirting is in your state: https://www.refinery29.com/2017/11/180636/squirting-porn-searches

NYC Condo Owners Have a Priceless View—of People Fucking

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trumppeefaceWealthy condo owners in New York City are truly getting a million dollar view. Along with seeing the glorious skyline from their window, they also get to see the writhing bodies of strangers getting it on in the nearby park. Residents of 5th on the Park, a luxury high-rise building in Harlem overlooking Marcus Garvey park, reported that they’re treated to scenic vistas of “flagrant fornicators” who “mount a rocky hill — and then one another.”

According to the residents, they see various types of fucking in the park at all hours of the day. A resident of the building told the Post he saw “one girl with three guys,” and that it “shocked the hell” out of him. A different resident said that when she looks out the window and gazes over at the park, she sees “a lot of blowjobs, guys having sex, guys masturbating, I really saw the whole gamut.” Sorry to say it, rich condo owners in NYC—but maybe you should close your blinds?

Looking for some flagrant fun? We can shock the hell out of you right here at NiteFlirt!

Check out more about NYC condo owners complaining about people fucking the park: https://jezebel.com/fancy-schmancy-condo-owners-have-a-priceless-view-of-1819516797

6 Kinky-As-Fuck Sex Stories

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best_phone_sex_niteflirt_sex9What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done? If you’re looking to reach even kinkier heights, these very kinky sex stories are sure to inspire you. Here are 6 real life, kinky-as-fuck things people have actually done during sex.

  1. “I flew to New York City to visit a friend, and he threw me a full-blown orgy. There were nine people, and at one point I was chained to a bed and blindfolded and had to guess which of the other eight people was going down on me.”
    Now that’s a good surprise party!
  2. “I once had sex with a father and son at the same time. The son was my age (30), and the father was in his 50s. It wasn’t something I had sought out or fantasized about, but when it happened it wound up being incredibly erotic!”
    A true family affair!
  3. “While my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stuck a water bottle in my vagina and his dick up my ass. Then he tried fisting me in both orifices.”
    Kinky. As. Fuck!
  4. “When my boyfriend was out of town, and we were both horny as fuck, we decided that I should go to the bathhouse alone and have another patron use my phone to FaceTime my boyfriend while he went to Pound Town on my butt with a big dildo. Then I got into a sling while several men took turns fucking me and others sucked and jerked me off, all while my boyfriend watched.”
    Good times at the bathhouse!
  5. “Two Thai ladyboy’s were undressed with their cocks out. I had one in my hand and the other in my mouth. It soon evolved from there, and the highlights included my being spit-roasted by them (so good!), multiple 69-ing, and pretty much every hole being filled multiple times.”
    Hot!
  6. “I went to a bathhouse and got in the sex swing. A guy came up and started rimming me, and then a crowd started to form. He then started to fuck me. As soon as he was done, another guy was ready for a turn. All in all, 10 guys took their turn on me in a short time. It was absolutely amazing.”
    Another amazing bathhouse experience!

Looking to get kinky-as-fuck? We can always take your sex life to new heights here on NiteFlirt!

Check out more kinky sex stories: https://www.buzzfeed.com/spenceralthouse/just-some-kinky-stuff

There’s Now An App To Help Women Cum

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5942090561_8656911f4b_zOMGYes is now offering women sexual pleasure education and information on their iPhones with a new app. It has a simulated pussy for users to master the 12 clitoral stimulation techniques, which have been scientifically proven to lead to heightened stimulation and orgasm. “OMGYes offers videos, images and the phone app which allows users to observe, practice and master the stimulation techniques alone or with a partner,” reports NY Post.

For many women, OMGYes is a helpful tool that lets them navigate the complex science of sexual pleasure. The program was developed through extensive research and surveys of women, and from that data acclaimed scientists distilled methods for achieving orgasm and sexual pleasure. “It comes down to fingers and tongues on the clitoris, whether during penetration or not,” said a women who uses the app. “Women are the absolute Jedis when it comes to ways of touching the clitoris. So, best for partners to learn from and replicate those ways.”

Want to enhance your sexual pleasure? We’ve got just the tool to help you reach new heights right here on NiteFlirt!

Check out more about OMGYes the app: https://nypost.com/2017/11/13/having-trouble-climaxing-theres-an-app-for-that/