Arnold Schwarzenegger Makes Raunchy X-Rated Jokes After Customs Detention

Arnold Schwarzenegger made it through Munich customs with a few new dirty jokes under his belt. The star did a stand-up routine after he was detained at the airport for failing to declare a watch valued at more than $200,000. The former governor of California told attendees that the cuffs weren’t “because of the watch or the customs office” but instead from “a hot night” with his girlfriend.

He quipped that the handcuffs were a “great deal because usually I pay $500 for that.” Schwarzenegger proceeded to rave about the “very special” $100,000 Audemars Piguet that was in his luggage: “He couldn’t find it because I was hiding it,” he joked. “And I can’t tell you where because I just cannot sit down today.”

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About Madge

Fluent in innuendo. Certified in orgasms. Madge writes like she talks: directly, confidently, and with a wink you can practically hear. With years in the field and a professional's eye for what actually works (and what's just noise), she covers everything from the art of a great tease to the mechanics of phone sex done right. She's dominant by nature and educational by trade, which means she'll tell you exactly what to do and exactly why it works. Equal parts wicked and wise, Madge leaves the fluffing to someone else. She delivers results. What she writes about: Flirt of the Week features (she's got an eye for talent) Take Care of Yourself Tuesdays (self-care, her way, non-negotiable) The real mechanics of great phone sex Confidence, control, and knowing exactly what you're doing What your Zodiac sign says about your bedroom style (yes, even Scorpios get fact-checked.) Fun facts: Alphabetizes her bookshelf by author, then by how much she'd trust that author in bed. Takes her coffee the way she takes control: no sugar, no hesitation. Has cleared a pool table before her opponent got a single shot, and made it look like she was barely trying. Can bend over backwards. Won’t. The neighborhood cat still avoids eye contact (she knows why.)

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