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Touch Me?! Hand Over My Wallet, Piggy Bank <3

Before I start, I don't ever want you to even TOY with the idea of me paying you ANY attention with out your wallet. I am normally a pretty sweet girl as long as you remember that I'm in charge, always. You can have an opinion, you could not, I don't give a shit; the ultimate decision is always going to be mine and your only option is to deal. The only way that you will EVER be of any use to me is by working for my check and getting me all the things that I need. If you catch yourself thinking otherwise, just remember Rule #1 of you're futile existence--you're a fucking loser. Hard workers and ONLY HARD WORKERS will hey my acknowledgment;publicly and privately. Work yourself hard enough to the bone and I will consider you for my pet. I'm hard to please and I have a sweet tooth for the finer things. I like to travel twice every season and I take a lot of cooking and art classes to keep me rooted. I like going shopping for sexy underwear and bras once a month, and I only buy the best and they HAVE to match If you are willing to admit that I am completely superior to you, a worthless pig, in every way and submit, you have my permission to give me your wallet and buy my Gifts. If not;needless to say, don't bother. When you call, I want to you to apologize for interrupting me from my day to deal with you and ask me politely to take your money. After you bore me for while (which I'm sure won't take long) I'll just put you on speaker phone and you can listen to me doing whatever the fuck I want; I'm sure its more important than what you need to talk about anyway...Cheers piggy bank