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I've taken thousands of dollars over the years from losers just like you. Call and let me screw you over too. Your demise is my pleasure. I want you to feel completely humiliated about what you're doing.
If you're really good at getting financially fucked, I'll drive you into bankruptcy. Be sure to invite me to your bankruptcy hearing, though. I want to sit in the back of the courtroom and laugh my ass off at your stupidity.
Another great idea: I'll sell you something worthless and make you overpay for it - big time. You can then finance your purchase and owe me interest on top of it all.