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I'm here because I'm the FANTASY REAL MAN you simpering faggot fucktards WISH YOU WERE. I'm the hot dude on the skateboard, ridin to class with my STRAIGHT SKATER FEET INSIDE HOT SWEATY STRAIGHT SNEAKERS, propelled by my muscled ass and hard skater legs, my tan guns and my sculpted chest shining in the sun LIKE THE GRECIAN STRAIGHT GOD THAT I AM. You'll find that I'm surrounded at all times by REAL LIFE FOLLOWERS that include ONLY SUPERIOR LIFE FORMS such as MY STRAIGHT BROS and the HOT GIRLS WITH REAL PUSSYS, so different and so much better than the UNNATURAL PATHETIC WANNABE FAGGOT PUSSYS that crave me. But what's great for all of you lucky degenerate queers is that even though I would NEVER ALLOW YOU WITHIN FIFTY YARDS OF ME IN THE REAL WORLD it pleases me to RAPE YOUR WORTHLESS FAGGOT BANK ACCOUNTS stuffed with the money you make from jobs that require you to PRETEND YOU'RE actually WORTH SOMETHING, AND NOT A CUM GUZZLING ASS SNIFFING FOOT LICKING HUMILIATION-REQUIRING WISH-YOU-WERE-A-STRAIGHT-HUMAN FAGGOTTY MISTAKE OF EVOLUTION! If you think you deserve to pay me to talk to you, laugh at you, or ignore you while I practice skate tricks with REAL BOYS like my STRAIGHT POSSE or get my dick sucked by real girls, then YOU'RE SADLY MISTAKEN. You deserve nothing. Fortunately for you it's your lucky day, faggot, because by the grace of THIS GOD RIGHT HERE you get to call anyways. So take out your wallets and see what it feels like to pretend you have a purpose: BEING MY PATHETIC PIGGY REAL-MAN-WORSHIPPING CASH SLAVE!