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All American writing gives the impression that Americans don't care for girls at all. What the American male really wants is two things: he wants to be blown by a stranger while reading a newspaper and he wants to be fucked by his buddy when he's drunk. Everything else is society. - WH Auden

Are you ready for something MORE than tepid "forced" bi? Are you ready to admit not only YOUR failings, but the failings of the entire heterosexist patriarchy? Are you ready to be more than a slave to your incorrect brainwashing - the misfit memo that straight is good and gay is bad? They had it wrong. GAY IS NATURAL. GAY IS GOOD.

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If you're not ready, that's OK. Everyfag has to start somewhere. That's why I'm here.

See, I'm not satisfied with making your homo tendencies the butt of the same joke over and over. I'm not satisfied until you are actively repulsed by your heterosexual past, and in agreement that hairy fuckbeast males belong together in fraternal harmony and love, not chasing and pestering the fairer sex. If we women want you, we'll let you know. In the meantime, don't hold your breath, boys.

Imagine how much better that world will be. I sure can. Kinder. More honest. More nurturing. A little bitchier, true. But the positive traits of gay men can no longer be suppressed in the coming future. It's time to come out and come clean, if ever there was. When you go gay - you are UPGRADING your sorry self.

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The truly heterosexual male is as rare as a unicorn. Kinsey was right. Embrace your non-one.

While I absolutely adore developing recordings and special reading assignments for your gay transformation fetish, there's nothing that pleases me quite like connecting with neophyte homos-in-training for an awesome "forced" bi phone session on niteflirt. Whether you're terrified and contemplating the idea that maybe just maybe cock turns you on, or whether you are the total belle of the drag ball - you will love discussing it with me! I bring enthusiasm, queer savoir-faire, and a sense of pride and queer supremacy which you just will not find anywhere else.

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