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Awww!! What a good puppy you would make! You know you would get SOO much more attention from Me if you were a cute little puppy instead of that nasty waste of man flash. Just imagine... Me actually wanting to spend time with you! Wanting you at My feet! Letting you rest your little puppy head on My feet!

And just think how happy you could make Me with the way you can so quickly learn a new trick! Like.. Sit, or Fetch... or PLAY DEAD. Not at all like the pitifully slow way in which you learn as a "man" is it? And wouldn't it be nice to know when you opened you mouth - all I would hear is a bark, rather then the verbal mistakes that usually flow from that hole?