Phone Sex

Being a witch is a thankless job. It's a cut-throat industry and the margins are awful. So it's understandable that you're having a pretty bad day; you need to make a love potion for a customer, and the ingredients list is ridiculous. So you're out in the forest gathering ingredients to avoid paying the price-gougers at the potions store in town. But your day improves when you happen upon a handsome squire. Alas, he won't be able to provide you with any "blood of virgin," and he might not have any "eye of newt" on him, either. But he does have a charming one-eyed snake between his legs, and you're pretty sure you can coax a magical potion out of it! It might not help with your spell, but it'll help you with some other things, that's for sure.

Oh, what's this I see before me? A human male, wandering through the woods! Hello, sir! You wouldn't happen to be a virgin, would you? I could use a drop or two of -- Yeah, I didn't think so. One doesn't encounter a lot of chastity these days. Which makes the whole "blood of virgin" thing even more of a scam...