Phone Sex

Admit it, you don't really want to have control over your life.

You're just... Weak. Miserable. A coward who can't even look a pretty girl in the eye without stuttering and stammering. You know women like bold, confident men, not abject failsons who spend all their time watching anime or playing videogames. And no one wants to hear about your weird desire to get publicly humilated or lick a girl's feet, or how you secretly get off on running her errands and cleaning her house, or having her draw on your face. That's creepy. You really should avoid women for the good of the gene pool. The world doesn't need more dorky sad virgins who have no backbone and have to pay women on the internet to pay attention to them. And if you do cum, you should probably burn the tissues or something.

It's okay either way. I can still pretend to be your friend as long as you keep paying for minutes. I'll pretend to be your Necromancer Queen or Monstergirl waifu or the cute girl at your local game store you wish would spank you with a dungeon master's guide, or the barista you've been fantasizing about for months because she told you to "speak up" once.

And you know what? I'm actually relatively good at getting sad, drunk losers to take care of themselves, so maybe one day you'll be slightly less of an embarrassment to everyone who knows you. I'd be happy to refuse to talk to you about anything but how hot it is to be picked up and carried by a big, strong guy, or how guys with higher testosterone and a healthy diet have better quality seed than you, or roleplay giving your boss who pressures you to work on the weekend a spanking so you smile and tell her to fuck off so you can do something with your life for once, or sit on my vibrator and enjoy myself while making you clean the nerd hole you live in.

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