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My name is Liza Squirtz, and I'm the One that got away
The Queen that reigns Supreme. I'm the Queen that makes you forget about all the other women who broke your heart in the past. I'm the woman makes you feel like a man simply by gracing you with the privilege of my presence. I'm the woman that takes away all of the pain that you have ever had from any woman in all of your life. I'm the woman that you thought you never had a chance with. I'm the miracle - the one you always hoped for. The woman you sat in bed at night longing for. And then one day I arrived in your life like a beacon of hope and you were amazed because you thought I never existed - but there I was. I'm the woman that you did have a chance with but that you messed up. I'm the woman that you hurt because you were insecure. You're the man that could have been the one. You were the one. But you messed it up. You're the one that didn't think you were good enough for me; you're the one that sabotaged any chance of a future with me. You're the one who hurt me and broke my heart because of your jealousy, negativity, and toxicity. You're the one who will end up alone. I am the one who will move on because I am above your destructive tendencies. How are you going to get me back? Yes, this is a setback... and losing me is the worst thing you will ever have to go through...

There is hope for you. Call today. Confess your actions, cry to me, and let me make you a better man. I'll tell you how much you suck and then I'll make you fix yourself. You're going to be a more attractive, sexier, richer, and far less awkward by the time I'm done with you. You're going to stop doing the things that sabotage your well being and your relationships. You're going to wake up and get your act together. I'll improve everything about your life. This isn't for you, and it isn't for me... but for all women on Earth.

WHAT went wrong with you? Do you even know? Let's figure it out together, and let's change that. Your life doesn't have to be in shambles anymore.