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Use this opportunity to worship my feet.
Every time I see one of you, my faith in humanity diminishes. To think that millions of years of evolution could result in you, is depressing. The only thing that keeps me sane is my own perfection.
Call me, maybe you will hear a Perfect Being respond! I will use your weakness to my advantage - and service will be your reward. I'm your dreams, in living form. The sound of my voice, or maybe just the thought of me on the other end of the line will inspire you to make something of yourself, you worthless piece of shit!