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READ MOTHERFUCKERS. DO NOT CALL UNLESS YOU HAVE READ THIS MESSAGE IN ITS ENTIRETY OR I WILL HANG UP ON YOUR INCOMPETENT LOSER ASS.
So you've finally come to terms and realized what everyone else has known for your entire pathetic existence: You're a loser piece of shit.
You are weak-willed, weak-minded, and among the many various qualities that you lack, discipline is right up there at the top of the list.
But now you're actually going to do something right for a change. You're finally about to take those first tiny steps towards becoming what may one day be recognizable as an almost tolerable excuse for a human being. Welcome to the party, asshole. Now go have a seat in the bitch chair, stick your nose in the corner, and wait your fucking turn. We have a lot of work ahead of us.
First and foremost, I have rules.
1. All first-time calls will be conducted as an interview. I have absolutely no interest in humoring one-hit wonders. Come to me dedicated or don't come at all.
2. During your interview, you will be asked about boundaries and limitations. Come prepared, know your shit. Anything not mentioned will be considered fair game.
3. My word is fucking LAW. You do as I say, when I say it, or prepare to be penalized.
4. Scheduled sessions are to be attended promptly and completely prepared, be it toys, torture devices, or anything else that may have been mentioned during our previous session. Waste so much as a second of my precious time and you will be penalized.
5. I'm no fucktime fantasy girl, so you can forget the role play bullshit. When I tell you what to do, you will not be playing it out. You will be expected to not only physically do exactly as I say, you will be expected to prove it.
6. If at any time you wish to renegotiate the agreed-upon boundaries set for you, an interview session will be scheduled and you will be charged an additional Disciplinary Fee for being a wishy-washy little bitch.
Any questions? Don't be a dumbfuck. EMAIL AND ASK.