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Little Dick? Come Let Me Laugh!

Ok, I want to get rid of some of the idiotic programming that society has thrown at you. One, size does matter. Two, it does matter if you succeed, not if you merely participated. Three, if you're not tall enough to ride the ride, then, yes, something is wrong with you, and you should feel horrible that you wasted our time.

Now that that's done, yes, all of this relates to your tiny, tiny dick.

Some of you losers make me feel like I need one of those big Sherlock Holmes-style magnifying glasses in order to see that shit. Even then, I still sometimes confuse it for an abnormally large zit! Yes, I get furious when I work to make myself look hot--which honestly doesn't take much work at all--but still, I made a little effort. I put on really hot clothing, and you can't even give me six inches, which for some of you is three pumps and an apology. I don't care how fat your wallet is; you're still pretty much worthless to me where it ultimately counts.

The sad thing is, some of you really believe that bullshit line about "Oh, it's not the size of the boat, but the skill of the skipper and the motion of the ocean." Yeah, no. Absolutely not.

If you managed to make a woman cum with that thing, it's because it tickled her clit. So, yes, while I will talk to you, I will make it no secret that you have my disdain. So when you call me (and you WILL call me because you need to hear the kind of abuse that only I can agive you), I want you to have a ruler handy to tell me your exact measurements. There is a sign here that says "You must be this high to cum," and I want to know if you get to or not!