I know you're looking for a sadistic, heartless prick to remind you how pathetic you are. You need to understand that each little worm that comes to me leaves broken and crushed. I am superior and better than you and love taking your cash and your dignity.
I know you're looking for an articulate, intelligent, and creative guy that loves to mess with your head. I specialize in making tons of money off of dorks and weirdos. If you need someone to listen to your problems and all the gross details of your addictions I will gladly take your cash to let you unload your troubles. Call me.