Phone Sex

When I first started practicing BDSM in earnest, some twenty years ago, I assumed that what interested me in kink was, well, the kink. The thrill, the rush I got from Dominating another person made the "why" seem pretty self explanatory. I used to play a lot at parties, in the beginning. Before a scene, my bottom and I would talk. These talks were often uniquely candid: we were heading into a heightened situation, and people wanted to let go of their masks, show me what was really going on inside. They wanted to be understood... and I wanted to understand. That's where the real connection was formed. Afterwards, in the actual physical exchange, I could feel the trust born from our conversation in how their bodies responded to me. That's when I realized -- kink wasn't what I was after after all. It was people's trust I desired, their permission to connect on a deeper, truer level. Kink was just a way in. I lived fast and hard, in the years that followed. I risked a lot and I lost a lot: jobs, partners, my family, my home. While painful, being stripped of all that defined me left me with rock-solid insights: that meaning in life is forged through unflinchingly honest relationships, with others as well as with oneself; and that the meaning of my own life, my purpose, was to help others manifest their own truths, using the tools I acquired through the kink/BDSM lifestyle. My name is Joshua - Master Joshua, to those whom I engage with. I am a lifestyle guide, event producer and professional Dominant (pro-Dom). I'm a co-founder and leader of The Kink-Collective, a group dedicated to education and personal growth through the ethical exploration of kink/BDSM. I'm the co-creator of "People Before Kink: An Intro To Honest Relationship Building Through The Lens Of BDSM," and the following "People Before Kink: BDSM Techniques" course. As a pro-Dom, I share with my clients a depth of experience and liberation that can only come through hard-earned trust; so that they may learn how this trust feels like, and what it takes, and begin to replicate it with their other connections. People like us -- who can't or won't restrict our souls to fit the mold of mainstream relationships -- are vulnerable. Based on what we see around us, we succumb to the notion that short-lived, shallow connections are the price we pay for our sexual freedom, and give up the idea of more. I know. I've been there. But there IS more. I know - I AM there. So, wherever your path leads you, even if these words are the only place our lives intersect, I implore you - don't give up on what your hearts wants, or on who you could become. Love, Joshua.