I'm hesitant to start with something so cliche' as, "Be careful what you wish for", but I can think of no other warnings as appropriate as this. So, consider yourself warned...
Here are the facts:
1. I am much smarter than you
2. I am much more clever than you, and more expensive than your accountant, your physician, and your attorney.
3. I know much more about you, without even having talked to you, than you know about yourself.
4. When it comes to jackass men with hard dicks, I have no conscience nor remorse - I will lead you by your pigtail wherever I wish to take you, and I will leave you there, helpless and stranded, shaking and begging for more and more...simply because I can.
5. You will be addicted to me, and you will suffer many weeks during which I will not be available to you at all: I take calls when I feel like it. Sometimes that is a few times a week, sometimes a few times a month, sometimes months at a time go by and I don't feel like talking to dicktards like you at all. And though I will not think of you while I'm gone, I am somewhat amused by the idea that you will think of ME every day, whether you're lucky enough on that day to talk to me, or whether you're not.
6. Once you are completely addicted to me, I will raise my rates when you call me. If you email to tell me you're calling, I will jack up my price. If you call without warning me ahead of time, I will hang up on you and raise my rates. You know and I know, that having the tiniest taste of my voice, even a simple "Hello", will cause you to become rabid with need, rejecting all reason, and following my every command, whether issued directly or implicitly.