{"id":34188,"date":"2018-01-15T08:00:54","date_gmt":"2018-01-15T16:00:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/?p=34188"},"modified":"2018-01-13T23:50:20","modified_gmt":"2018-01-14T07:50:20","slug":"11-hilarious-masturbation-jokes-that-are-just-filthy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/11-hilarious-masturbation-jokes-that-are-just-filthy\/","title":{"rendered":"11 Hilarious Masturbation Jokes That Are Just Filthy"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Image<\/a>We all need a little laughter over the holidays\u2014not to mention some good self-love. Because let’s face it, humor and jerking off<\/a> are the best tools for a stress-free holiday season. Here are 11 masturbation jokes to make your holiday a little brighter.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. \u201cThe worst part of jerking off is closing the other six tabs of porn I didn’t even get to and realizing this is as ambitious as I get.\u201d<\/b> It’s funny cause it’s true…<\/li>\n
  2. \u201cThe first person that masturbated must have been like YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.\u201d<\/b> Yup!<\/li>\n
  3. \u201cDo you ever get so bored that you’re like I guess I’ll masturbate.\u201d<\/b> Mmm hmm.<\/li>\n
  4. \u201c’911, what’s your emergency<\/b>‘
    \n‘I’m masturbating too much’
    \n<\/b>‘Sir that’s not really a problem’
    \n<\/b>‘One sec. DID YOU HEAR THAT MOM? NOW GET OFF MY CASE’\u201d <\/b>Yeah, mom!<\/li>\n
  5. \u201cIt’s so awkward when you shout out someone else’s hand during masturbation.\u201d <\/b>Whoops!<\/li>\n
  6. \u201cWelcome to masturbation anonymous. I see everybody came today. That’s disappointing.\u201d <\/b>A good head count!<\/li>\n
  7. \u201cAccording to my Nike Fuel Band, I just masturbated for 4 miles.\u201d<\/b> Life goals!<\/li>\n
  8. \u201c*not horny but masturbates just in case I was*\u201d<\/b> Always a good idea to come<\/i> prepared.<\/li>\n
  9. \u201cIs masturbating while smoking weed called masturblazing? No, it’s called highjacking. Guys no it’s weedwhacking. No it’s called disappointing ur mother.\u201d<\/b> Sorry, ma!<\/li>\n
  10. \u201cFirst time masturbating: whoa that was great. Last time masturbating: whoa that was great.\u201d <\/b>Pretty much!<\/li>\n
  11. \u201cI feel like porn has given me such unrealistic expectations for sex. For example, having it with another person.\u201d <\/b>Let NiteFlirt lend a helping hand!<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Fappy holidays, everybody! Let’s get filthy on NiteFlirt<\/a>!<\/p>\n

    Check out more hilarious masturbation jokes: https:\/\/www.buzzfeed.com\/annaborges\/so-much-masturbation<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    We all need a little laughter over the holidays\u2014not to mention some good self-love. Because let’s face it, humor and jerking off are the best tools for a stress-free holiday season. Here are 11 masturbation jokes to make your holiday a little brighter. \u201cThe worst part of jerking off is closing the other six tabs […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12633],"tags":[10669,501,3351],"class_list":["post-34188","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lists","tag-jokes","tag-masturbation","tag-porn"],"yoast_head":"\n11 Hilarious Masturbation Jokes That Are Just Filthy - NiteFlirt News | Flirty Tips, Steamy Stories & Chat Secrets<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/11-hilarious-masturbation-jokes-that-are-just-filthy\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"11 Hilarious Masturbation Jokes That Are Just Filthy - NiteFlirt News | Flirty Tips, Steamy Stories & Chat Secrets\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"We all need a little laughter over the holidays\u2014not to mention some good self-love. 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