{"id":30580,"date":"2016-01-19T08:30:42","date_gmt":"2016-01-19T16:30:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/?p=30580"},"modified":"2016-01-14T14:57:54","modified_gmt":"2016-01-14T22:57:54","slug":"7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\/","title":{"rendered":"7 True and Hilarious SEX-Pectations Vs. Reality"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"best_phone_sex_niteflirt_girls_eating\"<\/a>Buzzfeed’s<\/a> newest illustrated article shows what sex is like when we’re anticipating it in our minds versus what it’s really like in reality. And probably every person can relate to one scenario or another (the hot but inevitably terrible idea of sex with an ex. Or the frustrating difficulty of what should be steamy shower sex). Here are some of the truest and most hilarious SEX-pectations vs. reality (check out the illustrations below):<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Shower Sex<\/b>
    \nSEX-pectation: \u201cYou’re so hot and wet!\u201d
    \nReality: \u201cAhh! Thought you were the girl from \u201cThe Ring\u201d for a sec!\u201d<\/li>\n
  2. Your O-Face<\/b>
    \nSEX-pectation: Rosy cheeks and wry little smile.
    \nReality: Drooling, red-faced, and sweaty.<\/li>\n
  3. Food Play<\/b>
    \nSEX-pectation: Two perfectly fluffy dollops of whipped cream over the nipples, and one over the pussy. Perfect whipped cream bikini!
    \nReality: \u201cOh god. So sticky. Help.\u201d<\/li>\n
  4. Ex Sex<\/b>
    \nSEX-pectation: \u201cThat was SO wrong but it felt SO right.\u201d
    \nReality: \u201cI want to kill myself.\u201d \u201cMe too.\u201d<\/li>\n
  5. Taking a Bath Together<\/b>
    \nSEX-pectation: Romantic candles; comfortable positions; sensual sex.
    \nReality: Stress; water getting all over the floor; where do our limbs go?!<\/li>\n
  6. Reverse Cowgirl<\/b>
    \nSEX-pectation: \u201cYee haw!\u201d
    \nReality: \u201cWhy are your calves so boney!\u201d<\/li>\n
  7. How You Look the Morning After<\/b>
    \nSEX-pectation: *Angel of the morning
    \nReality: \u201cAhh! Oh, sorry, thought you were the girl from \u201cThe Ring\u201d again.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    In the mood for some hot fun? We can exceed all your SEX-pectations here<\/a>!<\/p>\n

    Check out more about SEX-pectations vs. reality here:\u00a0https:\/\/www.buzzfeed.com\/lorynbrantz\/sexpectation-vs-reality?bffbmain&utm_term=.pm0oAx8k9Q#.hvMKaAD8Jz<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Buzzfeed’s newest illustrated article shows what sex is like when we’re anticipating it in our minds versus what it’s really like in reality. And probably every person can relate to one scenario or another (the hot but inevitably terrible idea of sex with an ex. Or the frustrating difficulty of what should be steamy shower […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[9263,10182,10181,10179,301,10180,9280],"class_list":["post-30580","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-insights","tag-buzzfeed","tag-ex-sex","tag-food-play","tag-reality","tag-sex","tag-sexpectations","tag-shower-sex"],"yoast_head":"\n7 True and Hilarious SEX-Pectations Vs. Reality - NiteFlirt News | Flirty Tips, Steamy Stories & Chat Secrets<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"7 True and Hilarious SEX-Pectations Vs. Reality - NiteFlirt News | Flirty Tips, Steamy Stories & Chat Secrets\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Buzzfeed’s newest illustrated article shows what sex is like when we’re anticipating it in our minds versus what it’s really like in reality. And probably every person can relate to one scenario or another (the hot but inevitably terrible idea of sex with an ex. Or the frustrating difficulty of what should be steamy shower […]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"NiteFlirt News | Flirty Tips, Steamy Stories & Chat Secrets\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-01-19T16:30:42+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/best_phone_sex_niteflirt_girls_eating.png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"NiteFlirt\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@niteflirt\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@niteflirt\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"NiteFlirt\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"NiteFlirt\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/509f1893fd23ba2833c2dab22882cddc\"},\"headline\":\"7 True and Hilarious SEX-Pectations Vs. Reality\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-01-19T16:30:42+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":264,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2014\\\/10\\\/best_phone_sex_niteflirt_girls_eating.png\",\"keywords\":[\"Buzzfeed\",\"Ex Sex\",\"Food Play\",\"Reality\",\"sex\",\"Sexpectations\",\"shower sex\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Insights\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\\\/\",\"name\":\"7 True and Hilarious SEX-Pectations Vs. Reality - NiteFlirt News | Flirty Tips, Steamy Stories & Chat Secrets\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2014\\\/10\\\/best_phone_sex_niteflirt_girls_eating.png\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-01-19T16:30:42+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/509f1893fd23ba2833c2dab22882cddc\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2014\\\/10\\\/best_phone_sex_niteflirt_girls_eating.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2014\\\/10\\\/best_phone_sex_niteflirt_girls_eating.png\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"7 True and Hilarious SEX-Pectations Vs. Reality\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/\",\"name\":\"NiteFlirt Blog\",\"description\":\"NiteFlirt -- Speak to your Desire. \u00ae\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/509f1893fd23ba2833c2dab22882cddc\",\"name\":\"NiteFlirt\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/author\\\/jenn\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"7 True and Hilarious SEX-Pectations Vs. Reality - NiteFlirt News | Flirty Tips, Steamy Stories & Chat Secrets","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"7 True and Hilarious SEX-Pectations Vs. Reality - NiteFlirt News | Flirty Tips, Steamy Stories & Chat Secrets","og_description":"Buzzfeed’s newest illustrated article shows what sex is like when we’re anticipating it in our minds versus what it’s really like in reality. And probably every person can relate to one scenario or another (the hot but inevitably terrible idea of sex with an ex. Or the frustrating difficulty of what should be steamy shower […]","og_url":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\/","og_site_name":"NiteFlirt News | Flirty Tips, Steamy Stories & Chat Secrets","article_published_time":"2016-01-19T16:30:42+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/best_phone_sex_niteflirt_girls_eating.png","type":"","width":"","height":""}],"author":"NiteFlirt","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@niteflirt","twitter_site":"@niteflirt","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"NiteFlirt","Est. reading time":"1 minute"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\/"},"author":{"name":"NiteFlirt","@id":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/#\/schema\/person\/509f1893fd23ba2833c2dab22882cddc"},"headline":"7 True and Hilarious SEX-Pectations Vs. Reality","datePublished":"2016-01-19T16:30:42+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\/"},"wordCount":264,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/best_phone_sex_niteflirt_girls_eating.png","keywords":["Buzzfeed","Ex Sex","Food Play","Reality","sex","Sexpectations","shower sex"],"articleSection":["Insights"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\/","url":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\/","name":"7 True and Hilarious SEX-Pectations Vs. Reality - NiteFlirt News | Flirty Tips, Steamy Stories & Chat Secrets","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/best_phone_sex_niteflirt_girls_eating.png","datePublished":"2016-01-19T16:30:42+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/#\/schema\/person\/509f1893fd23ba2833c2dab22882cddc"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/best_phone_sex_niteflirt_girls_eating.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/best_phone_sex_niteflirt_girls_eating.png"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/7-true-and-hilarious-sex-pectations-vs-reality\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"7 True and Hilarious SEX-Pectations Vs. Reality"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/","name":"NiteFlirt Blog","description":"NiteFlirt -- Speak to your Desire. \u00ae","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/#\/schema\/person\/509f1893fd23ba2833c2dab22882cddc","name":"NiteFlirt","url":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/author\/jenn\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30580","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=30580"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30580\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":30606,"href":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30580\/revisions\/30606"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=30580"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=30580"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=30580"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}