{"id":29488,"date":"2015-07-07T08:36:22","date_gmt":"2015-07-07T15:36:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/?p=29488"},"modified":"2015-06-25T11:36:39","modified_gmt":"2015-06-25T18:36:39","slug":"the-most-hilarious-sexual-phrases-in-romance-novels","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/the-most-hilarious-sexual-phrases-in-romance-novels\/","title":{"rendered":"The Most Hilarious Sexual Phrases in Romance Novels"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/cosmic_bandita.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-29509 aligncenter\" title=\"Image Source: Flickr.com\/cosmic_bandita\" alt=\"cosmic_bandita\" src=\"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/cosmic_bandita.jpg\" width=\"540\" height=\"405\" \/><\/a>While writers are known for their creativity, romance writers in particular are known for their\u00a0<i>ridiculous<\/i>creativity when it comes to describing\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/categories\/645-Find-Women-Women-Home-Alone-Sex\" target=\"_blank\">sex<\/a>\u00a0(ahem,\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/goody\/search?text=BDSM\" target=\"_blank\"><i>Fifty Shades of Grey<\/i><\/a>, anyone?). So blogger John Ferri decided to compile lists of the most absurd, hilarious sexual descriptions he found in his wife&#8217;s romance novels. Here are some of the gems:<\/p>\n<div><b>Romance Novel Epithets for the Cock<\/b><\/div>\n<ol>\n<li>\n<div>Rigid source of heat<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div>Engorged flesh<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div>Iron-hard tumescence<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div>Love&#8217;s sweet arrow<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div>Plenipotentiary instrument<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div>Molten member<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div>Torrid extension<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<div><b>Romance Novel Epithets for the Pussy<\/b><\/div>\n<ol>\n<li>\n<div>Damp, most needy place<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div>Fiery furnace<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div>Most treasured pearl of passion<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div>Glistening portals of her womanhood<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div>Molten need<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<div><b>Romance Novel Descriptions of Sex<\/b><\/div>\n<ol>\n<li>\n<div>Impaling her on his straining <a href=\"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/goody\/search?text=shaft\" target=\"_blank\">shaft<\/a><\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div>Plunging hotness penetrated<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div>Possess the lily<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div>Embalming injection<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div>Love&#8217;s sweet lava flowed<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div>Staccato spasms<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div>Burned to a cinder<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Wow. Some of those descriptions sound dangerous! We don&#8217;t know about \u201cwrithing with burning caresses\u201d but we would definitely be up for some \u201clightning bolts of fulfillment!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Check out more hilarious sexual phrases from romance novels <a href=\"https:\/\/www.huffingtonpost.com\/2015\/06\/16\/romance-novel-phrases_n_7545244.html\" target=\"_blank\">here<\/a>!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>While writers are known for their creativity, romance writers in particular are known for their\u00a0ridiculouscreativity when it comes to describing\u00a0sex\u00a0(ahem,\u00a0Fifty Shades of Grey, anyone?). So blogger John Ferri decided to compile lists of the most absurd, hilarious sexual descriptions he found in his wife&#8217;s romance novels. Here are some of the gems: Romance Novel Epithets [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[8485,9256,8646,9258,9259,301,9257,891],"class_list":["post-29488","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-insights","tag-bdsm","tag-books","tag-fifty-shades-of-grey","tag-novels","tag-romance-novels","tag-sex","tag-sexual-phrases","tag-shaft"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>The Most Hilarious Sexual Phrases in Romance Novels - NiteFlirt News | Flirty Tips, Steamy Stories &amp; Chat Secrets<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/the-most-hilarious-sexual-phrases-in-romance-novels\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Most Hilarious Sexual Phrases in Romance Novels - NiteFlirt News | Flirty Tips, Steamy Stories &amp; Chat Secrets\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"While writers are known for their creativity, romance writers in particular are known for their\u00a0ridiculouscreativity when it comes to describing\u00a0sex\u00a0(ahem,\u00a0Fifty Shades of Grey, anyone?). So blogger John Ferri decided to compile lists of the most absurd, hilarious sexual descriptions he found in his wife&#8217;s romance novels. Here are some of the gems: Romance Novel Epithets [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/the-most-hilarious-sexual-phrases-in-romance-novels\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"NiteFlirt News | Flirty Tips, Steamy Stories &amp; Chat Secrets\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-07-07T15:36:22+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/cosmic_bandita.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"NiteFlirt\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@niteflirt\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@niteflirt\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"NiteFlirt\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/the-most-hilarious-sexual-phrases-in-romance-novels\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/the-most-hilarious-sexual-phrases-in-romance-novels\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"NiteFlirt\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/509f1893fd23ba2833c2dab22882cddc\"},\"headline\":\"The Most Hilarious Sexual Phrases in Romance Novels\",\"datePublished\":\"2015-07-07T15:36:22+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/the-most-hilarious-sexual-phrases-in-romance-novels\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":181,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/the-most-hilarious-sexual-phrases-in-romance-novels\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2015\\\/06\\\/cosmic_bandita.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"bdsm\",\"books\",\"fifty shades of grey\",\"novels\",\"romance novels\",\"sex\",\"sexual phrases\",\"shaft\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Insights\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/the-most-hilarious-sexual-phrases-in-romance-novels\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/the-most-hilarious-sexual-phrases-in-romance-novels\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.niteflirt.com\\\/news\\\/the-most-hilarious-sexual-phrases-in-romance-novels\\\/\",\"name\":\"The Most Hilarious Sexual Phrases in Romance Novels - NiteFlirt News | Flirty Tips, Steamy Stories &amp; 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