{"id":29301,"date":"2015-06-15T08:45:50","date_gmt":"2015-06-15T15:45:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/?p=29301"},"modified":"2015-06-04T12:07:44","modified_gmt":"2015-06-04T19:07:44","slug":"the-bestworst-sexts-ever","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/the-bestworst-sexts-ever\/","title":{"rendered":"The Best\/Worst Sexts Ever"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Sometimes, when you’re right in the middle of getting your sext on, foibles can happen that might, well, ruin the mood. Autocorrect failures, erotic messages lost in translation, and yes, even those dreaded, WTF, boner-killing come-ons. So here we present for your amusement and pleasure the most ridiculous, hilarious, and horrifying sexts ever:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. \n
    \u201cI know I\u2019m not the most handsome guy, but I bet I\u2019d look a lot better with your pussy juice<\/a> all over my face.\u201d<\/b><\/div>\n
    Did that one actually work? If so, bravo.<\/div>\n<\/li>\n
  2. \n
    \u201cI want to massage every square part of your body.\u201d<\/b><\/div>\n
    Square parts? Nobody wants to see anyone else’s square parts, whatever those are.<\/div>\n<\/li>\n
  3. \n
    \u201cI can\u2019t wait to see you later and mash my crotch against your face.\u201d<\/b><\/div>\n
    That just sounds scary. And dangerous.<\/div>\n<\/li>\n
  4. \n
    Post-masturbation pic with caption: \u201cCloudy with a chance of rain.\u201d<\/b><\/div>\n
    Hello, this is your local weatherman bringing you the latest update: looks like cloudy with a chance of DEAR LORD MY BONER’S GONE.<\/div>\n<\/li>\n
  5. \n
    Her: \u201cDoes my pussy taste good? Is it the best you’ve ever tasted?\u201d<\/b><\/div>\n
    Him: \u201cTastes like chicken.\u201d<\/b><\/div>\n
    Colonel Sanders, is that you?<\/div>\n<\/li>\n
  6. \n
    \u201cI just need it! It\u2019s like I\u2019m a diabetic and there\u2019s insulin in your ass and I have to get it with my tongue!\u201d<\/b><\/div>\n
    Sexting red alert! This is a medical emergency!<\/div>\n<\/li>\n
  7. \n
    \u201cLove to bend you over an airport bench and fuck your brains out.\u201d<\/b><\/div>\n
  8. \n
    Her: \u201cMorning.\u201d<\/b><\/div>\n
    Him: \u201cIs it bad sometimes I feel like I have a big dick<\/a> to make up for how fucked up everything else is.\u201d<\/b><\/div>\n
    Well, at least he’s grateful for what he’s got?<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Wow, those were truly awful\u2014and also completely amazing! Want to have some naughty fun with us? We promise not to mash anything against your face or ask you to massage our square parts!<\/p>\n

    Check out more hilarious sexts here<\/a>\u00a0or share with us your worst sexts by joining our conversation @NiteFlirt<\/a> on Twitter!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Sometimes, when you’re right in the middle of getting your sext on, foibles can happen that might, well, ruin the mood. Autocorrect failures, erotic messages lost in translation, and yes, even those dreaded, WTF, boner-killing come-ons. So here we present for your amusement and pleasure the most ridiculous, hilarious, and horrifying sexts ever: \u201cI know […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,3691],"tags":[181,9133,601,8573,9132,9134,8986],"class_list":["post-29301","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-insights","category-news","tag-erotic","tag-isext","tag-pussy","tag-sexting","tag-sexting-failswins","tag-winning","tag-wtf"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Best\/Worst Sexts Ever - NiteFlirt News<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/the-bestworst-sexts-ever\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Best\/Worst Sexts Ever - NiteFlirt News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Sometimes, when you’re right in the middle of getting your sext on, foibles can happen that might, well, ruin the mood. 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