{"id":28198,"date":"2014-12-08T12:30:00","date_gmt":"2014-12-08T20:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/?p=28198"},"modified":"2014-12-08T12:30:36","modified_gmt":"2014-12-08T20:30:36","slug":"news-creepy-sexual-text-theater","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/news-creepy-sexual-text-theater\/","title":{"rendered":"NEWS: Creepy Sexual Text Theater"},"content":{"rendered":"

There’s an amazing video on Uproxx.com of sexy actress Sasha Grey reading some of the grossest, most ridiculous, and hilarious sexual text messages<\/a> ever sent. These are real text messages, sent by real dudes to potential sex partners. And you won’t believe the weird, kinky shit that they say! Here are some of the highlights (watch the Creepy Text Theater video below):<\/p>\n

1.
\nCreepy Text Dude: \u201cHave you heard what scientists are saying?\u201d
\nUnwitting Recipient of Creepy Text: \u201cWhat?\u201d
\nCTD: \u201cThat there’s only gonna be seven planets after I destroy Uranus.\u201d<\/p>\n

2.
\nCTD: \u201cDo you like tapes and cds?\u201d
\nUROCT: \u201cYeah?\u201d
\nCTD: \u201cGood, I’m going to tape my dick to your forehead so that you can cds nuts.\u201d<\/p>\n

3.
\nCTD: \u201cDaisies or roses?\u201d
\nUROCT: \u201cDaisies.\u201d
\nCTD: \u201cOk. Just wondering what to put in the casket after I murder that pussy<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>\n

4.
\nCTD: \u201cWhat’s the difference between jam and jelly?\u201d
\nUROCT: \u201cOoh clever. Well I know the difference.\u201d
\nCTD: \u201cAnd what it is?\u201d
\nUROCT: \u201cJam has whole fruit pieces.\u201d
\nCTD: \u201cNope. The real difference is that I can’t jelly my dick in your ass<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>\n

5.
\nCTD: \u201cAre you a washing machine?\u201d
\nUROCT: \u201cYeah.\u201d
\nCTD: \u201cGood because I wanna fill you with my dirty load.\u201d<\/p>\n

We repeat, these are actual text messages sent by actual horny<\/a> humans out into the world. Hm, wonder if they’ve ever worked…? No need for strange pick-up lines here: we are always ready for the party in your pants!<\/p>\n