{"id":28056,"date":"2014-10-09T14:29:22","date_gmt":"2014-10-09T21:29:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/?p=28056"},"modified":"2014-10-09T14:29:22","modified_gmt":"2014-10-09T21:29:22","slug":"news-hands-free-masturbator-at-chinese-hospitals","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.niteflirt.com\/news\/news-hands-free-masturbator-at-chinese-hospitals\/","title":{"rendered":"NEWS: Hands-Free Masturbator at Chinese Hospitals"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Chinese have ushered us into the future again with their newest invention: a hands-free sex machine that jerks off<\/a> sperm donors. They’re called Automatic Sperm Extractors, and they’re the latest technology at Chinese hospitals. The futuristic, pink, gray and white sex robot has a massage pump which can be adjusted according to height (and, we’d guess, width). Amazing!<\/p>\n

Here’s how it works: dudes slip their cock<\/a> inside the bright pink tube, which literally jerks them off. That’s it! The tube pumps like a hand (or a pussy<\/a>) stroking a dick up and down. Then viola! Automatic cum. It eliminates the need for sticky, used Playboys and Hustlers and<\/i> even the use of one’s hands! How efficient!<\/p>\n

A sex machine in a hospital proves that the future is now! But we know that no technology could ever replace the amazing pleasure of a human touch<\/a>. What we offer can’t be found in any Chinese hospitals.<\/p>\n