Category Archives: Oh myyy

There’s Now a Fortnite Porn Parody

Image credit: The Daily Dot.

If you’re a fan of the world’s most popular game, Fortnite, we’ve got good news for you: there’s now a porn parody! Fortnut combines all the things you love about the game with sleazy, hilarious sex. In other words, you can get Victory Royales interspersed with gratuitous pussy shots.

The parody opens with a silly take on Twitch streamers, and we meet the star PussySparkles as she jumps into the game. From there, we see characters being pushed in shopping carts while wielding guns with dildos attached to the end. Obviously, Ramirez gets her own coveted “Dick-tory Royale” in the end. Wood Rocket and Pornhub are behind the raunchy porn parody, which you can currently stream for free on either site.

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Check out more about the Fortnite Porn parody: https://www.dailydot.com/upstream/fortnut-porn-parody-fortnite/

Helen Mirren Uses Porcelain Dildo As Catherine The Great

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Image Credit: The Daily Mail

History’s kinkiest Royal will be played by none other than Helen Mirren in the new Catherine the Great TV drama. Mirren will reportedly use a porcelain sex toy, said to be modeled on one of Queen Catherine’s many lovers. The drama’s producers said, “It will be a tough call deciding what sexy antics to leave out. At the very least they’ll have to show how she bedded a long line of nubile younger men.”

Legend has it that she would ask another woman to “test drive” lovers to ensure they had the stamina to satisfy her. “Catherine was the Grand Ruler of Russia from 1762 until her death in 1792 at the age of 67, and following the assassination of husband Emperor Peter III in 1762 she was rumoured to have had a string of male lovers and children through illicit affairs,” reports NY Post. The porcelain sex toy was something she had created for the rare occasions she couldn’t get instant access to the real thing.

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Check out more about Helen Mirren playing Catherine the Great: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-6026275/Helen-Mirren-handle-porcelain-sex-toy-plays-racy-Russian-monarch-Catherine-Great.html

Suburban Moms Reveal The Scandalous Places They’ve Had Sex

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It seems moms in the suburbs are enjoying very frisky sex lives. A new sex survey reveals how much they fuck—and even all the naughty places they’ve fucked. About 80 per cent reported having sex at least once a month and 44 per cent have sex at least once a week.

The soccer moms are also plenty adventurous when it comes to the sex they’re having: one woman said she’s fucked “In the car parked outside random houses on the way back from dinner.” Other respondents said they’ve had sex on the in-laws’ dining room table, golf courses, and at the Opera House. One MILF recalled, “On the boardroom table at the law firm I worked at! My partner also gave me oral sex while I was working in my office with the door closed one evening while there were still people there.” Naughty, naughty moms!

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Check out more about all the places suburban moms have had sex: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5961405/Suburban-mums-reveal-exactly-sex-theyre-having.html

Gardener Fed Up With People Having Sex With His Lady Hedge

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Image credit: BBC News

A gardener in the UK is not happy about the, ahem, popularity of his “hedge lady.” The sexy hedge sculpture on his lawn has been luring many townspeople—who routinely mount the ornate carving at all hours of the night. The gardener says he’s often woken in the night by the sounds of laughing and rustling, as drunken passersby simulate sex with the “privet lady” he’s cut into his bush.

“I just peered out at about 4:30 in the morning and there was a guy on top of her and going through the motions of having sex with her,” he said. It seems it’s not always men who hump the hedge lady—he’s occasionally witnessed women getting frisky with her, too. That must be one smokin’ hot lawn sculpture!

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Check out more about a gardener fed with people having sex with his lady hedge: https://www.gizmodo.co.uk/2018/07/gardener-fed-up-of-people-having-sex-with-his-lady-hedge/

Fetish Cosplay Game Banned From iPhones Comes To Nintendo Switch

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Maybe they should change the name “Nintendo” to “The Big Nintend-Oh.” A game featuring a fetish model that was deemed too racy for iPhones has been picked up by Nintendo Switch. Launched by and featuring X-rated Japanese model Eri Katama, the player ‘calls’ her, answers sexual questions via ‘yes’ and ‘no’ buttons on screen, and is then rewarded with naughty pictures and videos.

The first part of the game is free to download and features Katama in a latex catsuit posing suggestively. After that users have to pay a fee for each virtual conversation and its resultant racy rewards. The game is entirely in Japanese with no English, and is a surprising departure from Nintendo Switch’s usual family-friendly offerings.

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Check out more about the fetish cosplay game on Nintendo: https://www.thesun.co.uk/tech/6825973/fetish-cosplay-game-banned-on-ios-comes-to-nintendo-switch/

You Can Soon Have ‘Sex’ With Amazon’s Alexa

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Everyone’s favorite virtual assistant will soon be able to assist in your sex life! Alexa, Amazon’s voice controlled AI, has made its way into the Lovense series of smart sex toys. Lovense toys can already be controlled remotely using an app, but before long you can give Alexa commands that will also activate them.

Kinksters will be able to control their partners’ sex toys from afar, including changing the intensity of the vibrations. You’ll be able to ask Alexa to make you or your partner “smile,” which will result in a less powerful buzz than asking to “moan,” or even “scream.” Lovense is also working on making it possible for Alexa to set an alarm clock for the toys to vibrate at specific times of the day, and for Alexa to sync your toy to Spotify to make it buzz along to music.

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Check out more about using Alexa in the bedroom: https://nypost.com/2018/07/20/you-can-soon-have-sex-with-amazons-alexa/

6 Nerdy Sex Toys

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We’ve got just the thing to fulfill every Sci-Fi and Fantasy nerd’s hottest dreams: nerdy sex toys! Whether you’re a fan of Game Of Thrones or Star Wars, there’s a sex toy out there just waiting for you to unlock its magic. Here are 6 cleverly-shaped sex toys to make your nerdy fantasies a reality.

Game of Moans Long ShaftEver wanted a piece of John Snow’s famous sword (wink wink)? Now you literally can, with this dildo aptly named “longshaft.”
Unicorn Horn DildoHarness the power of your (ahem) inner unicorn with these fun, colorful sex toys! According to Geeky Sex Toys, “this legendary mysteriously mystical dildo will help stimulate the most magical orgasms.”
Bad DragonThis naughty dragon has an extra “tongue” to stimulate either the clit or prostrate. It’s also perfect for both vaginal and anal play.
Darth VibratorThis powerful wand will take your orgasm to the dark side. The force is strong with this sex toy!
Möan-lnir
“Thor’s powerful hammer, Mjolnir, now comes in a cleverly-designed dildo version: Möan-lnir. Don’t worry, it’s not the hammer-head you’re supposed to put into your body, but the 7-inch-long, hard silicon handle,” reports Refinery29. Hot!
CumoraIf you’ve been lusting after Guardian of the Galaxy’s sexy Gamora, now you can fulfill your dirtiest fantasies with this silicone fleshlight!

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Check out more nerdy sex toys: https://www.refinery29.com/nerdy-sex-toys-for-geeks#slide-15

Teacher Turned Dominatrix Has Live-In Slaves Who Wait On Her Hand-And-Foot

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A former schoolteacher turned her back on her job and her marriage to work as a dominatrix. Mistress Dahlia now happily lives with her boyfriend and her submissive “slaves,” who do anything she asks—in return for kinky “rewards.” Her current slave “Fluffy,” who she met at a fetish party, gets off on being submissive, and says his “boss” takes “good care of him.”

As reward for serving her, the subs receive BDSM punishments, such as being bound, gagged and whipped. Dahlia says, “Play is always a reward for them, but they have to earn it—it’s not easy.” Her boyfriend also likes having slaves, who will wait on him at their mistress’ request: “In the summer time we spend a lot of time lounging on the roof and we think ‘this would be so much better if we had Champagne or watermelon,’ and I can just call a slave and he’ll bring us the Champagne and watermelon.”

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Check out more about a dominatrix who has live-in slaves: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5548651/Dominatrix-reveals-two-live-SLAVES.html

Lesbians Do It Better

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Lesbians are having better sex than straight women, according to a new UK study. The study confirmed previous findings that there’s a high rate of sexual dissatisfaction among heterosexual women. Researchers started with this question, “Do lesbians have better sex than heterosexual women?” and then immediately, and orgasmically, answered: “Yes. Yes. Oh my God, yes!”

The study reported that women were 32 percent more likely to orgasm with another woman than with a man. Two major studies already reported an orgasm divide among lesbians and straight women, finding that lesbians cum 75 percent of the time during sex, compared to heterosexual women who only cum 61 percent of the time. Researchers encourage straight women to fuck like lesbians, which means “more varied sexual behaviors and more self-focused orgasm goals [to] increase the likelihood that women will orgasm.” In other words, women should focus on their own pleasure and figure out what really gets them hot—with men or women!

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Check out more about how lesbians have better sex: https://jezebel.com/yes-lesbians-do-it-better-1827452879

This X-Rated Scene Is Unlike Any You’ve Ever Seen

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After 15 years as a top porn star, Angela White’s new indie success “Angela 3” is her crowning achievement. The scene features White and fellow veteran porn star Manuel Ferrara having sex for 93 minutes straight without a single cutaway—and then afterward, intimately talking about what they’d just done. “It was way more hardcore than all those extreme physical acts,” White told The Post.

Angela 3‘s convention defying approach to XXX entertainment has paid off with fans and critics: one porn critic said, “It was the most unique thing I’ve ever seen. I’m 50 years old and have been watching porn for over 30 years.” White shrewdly turned her on-screen success into her own production company, which gave her the freedom to write, cast, shoot and edit the film—a very rare feat for adult performers. “I didn’t think that arriving this late in my career I would be like, ‘By far, this is the best scene I’ve ever done,’” Ferrara told The Post. “This was real, pure, raw sexual perfect connection.”

Looking for some real, raw adult entertainment? We always defy convention here on NiteFlirt!

Check out more about Angela 3: https://nypost.com/2018/07/13/porn-will-never-get-better-than-this/