Paris Olympics ‘Anti-Sex Beds’ Are Sturdy Enough For ‘Up To Three’

The inventor of the so-called “anti-sex beds” at the Olympics claims the cardboard beds are strong enough for “up to three” amorous athletes. Each athlete is measured for size and weight and an AI computer tool personalized their mattress’s density to provide what the Japanese inventor claims will give them the comfiest night’s sleep an Olympian has ever had. But besides comfort, the beds would “take two or three people with no worries,” he boasts, adding, “They are very robust. The cardboard base is very tough. They will cope with anything the athletes want to do with themselves or their friends.”

One athlete said in a viral video: “As you can see, they are pretty sturdy.” Irish gymnast Rhys McClenaghan posted an Instagram video of himself performing handstands and front flips on his bed, saying: “Once again, they have these cardboard ‘anti-sex beds.’ No, they pass the test—it’s fake, it’s fake news!” American swimmer Ryan Lochte has previously claimed that “70 to 75 percent” of Olympians fuck during the Games.

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About Madge

Fluent in innuendo. Certified in orgasms. Madge writes like she talks: directly, confidently, and with a wink you can practically hear. With years in the field and a professional's eye for what actually works (and what's just noise), she covers everything from the art of a great tease to the mechanics of phone sex done right. She's dominant by nature and educational by trade, which means she'll tell you exactly what to do and exactly why it works. Equal parts wicked and wise, Madge leaves the fluffing to someone else. She delivers results. What she writes about: Flirt of the Week features (she's got an eye for talent) Take Care of Yourself Tuesdays (self-care, her way, non-negotiable) The real mechanics of great phone sex Confidence, control, and knowing exactly what you're doing What your Zodiac sign says about your bedroom style (yes, even Scorpios get fact-checked.) Fun facts: Alphabetizes her bookshelf by author, then by how much she'd trust that author in bed. Takes her coffee the way she takes control: no sugar, no hesitation. Has cleared a pool table before her opponent got a single shot, and made it look like she was barely trying. Can bend over backwards. Won’t. The neighborhood cat still avoids eye contact (she knows why.)

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