Mathematicians Find Winning Formula For Male Climax

Mathematicians recently found a formula with a “happy ending.” Researchers in the United Kingdom have gone to great effort to complete a foolproof formula for male orgasm—something that’s never been achieved. The racy research—analyzing both psychological and biological aspects of fucking—was recently completed at England’s University of Sussex (emphasis on sex).

Researchers drew on decades worth of data on psychological and physiological arousal in which consenting participants performed sexual acts while a special type of MRI scanner observed changes in their neural patterns. “Our findings shed light on a socially taboo subject, which we believe could have useful applications for the clinical treatment of sexual dysfunction, as well as for providing the general public with a tested formula for improving their sex life,” said the study’s co-author. “A key finding is that too much psychological arousal early in the process can inhibit the chance of reaching climax,” he said, adding, “Simply put, our findings can be summarized as, ‘Don’t overthink it.’”

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About Madge

Fluent in innuendo. Certified in orgasms. Madge writes like she talks: directly, confidently, and with a wink you can practically hear. With years in the field and a professional's eye for what actually works (and what's just noise), she covers everything from the art of a great tease to the mechanics of phone sex done right. She's dominant by nature and educational by trade, which means she'll tell you exactly what to do and exactly why it works. Equal parts wicked and wise, Madge leaves the fluffing to someone else. She delivers results. What she writes about: Flirt of the Week features (she's got an eye for talent) Take Care of Yourself Tuesdays (self-care, her way, non-negotiable) The real mechanics of great phone sex Confidence, control, and knowing exactly what you're doing What your Zodiac sign says about your bedroom style (yes, even Scorpios get fact-checked.) Fun facts: Alphabetizes her bookshelf by author, then by how much she'd trust that author in bed. Takes her coffee the way she takes control: no sugar, no hesitation. Has cleared a pool table before her opponent got a single shot, and made it look like she was barely trying. Can bend over backwards. Won’t. The neighborhood cat still avoids eye contact (she knows why.)

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