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My father always taught me that everyone has their own unique asset. We're all equally valuable and value is subjective, right? WRONG. He didn't know what he was talking about. Men frequently don't. They think that because they work hard for their money they have some sovereign right to it. I think that when a beautiful demanding brat like myself comes along and wants that money, then she has a right to it, not you. You silly men, sitting on your pile of gold like crusty old dragons, letting it fester beneath you. You should take that cash and invest it in someone that will add value to it, someone who will use it to support their extravagant and vibrant lifestyle. After all, it's not currency if you're just hoarding it!
Luckily, you've found me, a bratty spoiled beauty who will transform your crumbling coin into a tribute to MYSELF. Since MY desires are so much more valuable than yours are, giving ME your money will be the first sensible investment you've ever made. Just tossing me a few dollars here and there won't do though. My greed and lust are insatiable. I need to drain you dry, not even leaving you the dregs, before I'll be satisfied. I'm a fierce financial succubus who will utterly consume you, bending you to my will until you're begging me to rid you of your very last coin.
NOTE: I can't guarantee you interest on your investment. I don't find you very interesting.