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My biting wit, omniscience and ability to trap inferiors in blood oaths through the use of guile and intimidation has shot me through the ranks of society. Somewhere along the way I was responsible for the Vietnam War, the assassinations of JFK, RFK, MLK, and LLJK, and finally the election of Richard Nixon. Little is known about my direct involvement in these events, but shipping and billing records recently publicized by IBM made apparent that first-borns were demanded and received!
Simply the best, brightest, most qualified and experienced motherfucker in the game. My tantalizing voice will have you mesmerized in two shakes of a lambs tail.
Now, if you have read this far and bought my magnificent sales pitch you REALLY must give me a call. Because you are the dopiest dipshit around; and who needs you walking around with stacks of cash and good credit.
All Your Money Are Belong To Master. Fucko. Call. DO IT.