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Meet your newest addiction. I deserve nothing but the best and I won't tolerate broke losers who don't give me what I want, when I want. Have a wife who reads bank statements or credit card bills? Your problem, not mine. In the back of your mind, I know you're excited about the idea of fucking her over in favor of me anyway.
Here's the drill: I expect you to either be working (so I don't have to) or calling me either here or on my ignore line. No excuses, you should be spending every last dime you have on me because I deserve it and because I know you need this much more than I ever could.
While we're here, you might as well entertain me, though. Tell me about your stupid crossdressing fantasies, about your tiny little dick, just don't expect me not to laugh. If you catch me in a really good mood, I might even tease you a little just to let you down, or tell you about the best sex I ever had - none of which involved you.
I see you're still reading. What are you waiting for? If you're too pathetic and scared to call, you can shop my wishlist until you grow a set of balls big enough to pick up the phone.