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RavenLightholme

Sex advice columnist, J.D., & fetish chameleon.

Who am I?

I'm a 25 year-old bisexual female, sex and fetish podcaster, tattooed marathon runner, lifestyle switch, taboo fetishist, J.D., P90Xer, video gamer, goth-industrial clubgoer, theme party thrower extraordinaire, sadomasochist, geek, and NIN fan.


Here's where you come in.

I'm most turned on by fulfilling other people's fantasies. Kink and sex fascinate me. I'll be whoever you want me to be to make your desires reality. Ask me anything; nothing is too taboo. I would love to hear it.

My Sexual Resume

I get it. You want to know what qualifies me to turn you on. You're smart for asking.

I was born with fetishes and discovered that I was not alone in this respect when I read Anne Rice’s “Exit to Eden” when I was roughly 12. I still wish that a place like The Club existed. I then found Anne Rice’s Sleeping Beauty Trilogy and the BDSM classic, Pauline Reage’s “Story of O.” I started writing erotic stories in high school, donned leather and whipped frat boys in college, began attending goth-industrial and fetish events in law school, and am now a sex podcaster and an active member of the BDSM and fetish community. I’m an accomplished student and athlete by day; deviant and tattooed BDSM’er by night. I have stories that will make your head spin.

I host a fetish, relationship, and sex advice podcast called Freedom of Fetish.

I answer both written questions and voicemails on the podcast. To leave a voicemail for the podcast:

  • Skype me at FreedomOfFetish
  • Leave a message at the Freedom of Fetish voicemail at (860) 756-0308.
To contact me in writing, send your questions to:
  • FreedomOfFetish@gmail.com
  • Tweet me @FreedomOfFetish or @RavenLightholme
  • Visit the Freedom of Fetish formspring to submit anonymously.
Please provide me with a phone number if you'd like me to call with follow-up questions, and let me know if you'd like to be anonymous.
Want to know more about me? This list is a list of the things I like! (Points if you got the Tim & Eric reference)

In General:

  • Halloween (the day, not the movies)
  • Working out (specifically running, muay thai boxing, P90x, and all manner of lifting)
  • A Clockwork Orange
  • Cabernet sauvignon
  • Hedonism (the state of mind, not the swinger's club)
  • Crossdressers, drag queens, faux queens, androgynous rock stars, transvestites, & other gender benders
  • Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!
  • Nine Inch Nails
  • Dan Savage, Savage Love, and other sex podcasts
  • Theme parties
  • The X-Men
  • Ren & Stimpy
  • Crispin Glover
  • Not being in direct sunlight
  • Battlestar Galactica (the new series)
  • Video games (I have a tattoo of the triforce from The Legend of Zelda)
  • Tattoos
  • Gothic literature
  • Melodic/progressive trance (like Above & Beyond)
  • True Blood
  • David Bowie in Labyrinth
  • YouTube videos of cute things
  • Penn & Teller's Bullshit
  • Lattes
  • Sleeping more than 12 hours a night
  • Wet Hot American Summer
  • Zach Galifianakis
  • Cosplay
  • The Matrix
  • Driving fast
  • Superheroes & supervillains
  • Eyes Wide Shut
  • Ibiza
  • Texas hold 'em
  • RuPaul's Drag Race
  • The Lord of the Rings (both the books and the movies)
  • The Picture of Dorian Gray
  • Vampires (no, I do not think they're real, and no, this does not include Twilight)
  • EBM
  • Protein bars
  • Shakespeare
  • The Perry Bible Fellowship (note: this has absolutely nothing to do with religion)
  • Adrianne Curry
  • Goth-industrial and fetish club nights
  • Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule
In Girls, Boys, & Everything in Between: Overall, I am attracted to those who are their own person; people who are successful, well-adjusted, self-aware, and content. I'm not looking to complete anyone, nor be completed. I like people who are already complete so that we both enjoy each other's presence and personality without neediness. In other words, I like the "with our powers combined" relationship, not the "damsel/prince in distress" relationship.
  • Intelligence without pretentiousness
  • Secularity
  • Genuine, unfeigned confidence
  • Athleticism and muscularity
  • People who don't take themselves too seriously and laugh at themselves
  • Nocturnality
  • That sociopathic ability to work a room and make everyone fall in love with you
  • Independent, self-reliant assuredness
  • The attractive kind of geekiness (i.e. knowing about geeky things without a corresponding drop in social skills)
  • People who don't write poems for me
  • Nightlife aficionados
  • People who hate chick flicks
  • A sense of humor (read: MY sense of humor)