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Why should you seek my advice? I am well-educated (I have a Master's degree in American Literature), I have a vivid imagination, and I have a pretty cute Southern Accent. Come on and give me a try... I know how to get to the climax of a story.
As a side note, I apologize for not being able to put more graphic pictures up, but I am also a school teacher, so I'd like to maintain a little discretion. You understand... I'll make it up to you, I promise.