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***DIRTY LIL MASTERBATERS WILL BE PUNISHED***
When I was 13 my parents sent me to Catholic boarding school because I was a very naughty girl. It took many years for the nuns to break my impertinant will - now I am in my 2nd year as a postulant, and am awaiting final vows.
Although I have sinned, I have kept my vow of celibacy. However, lately I have been very tempted. I have requested some time off to reflect on my vocation.
If you would like to talk to me, know that those that are Catholic or not should refer to me as Sister Mary Catherine. If you try to make me sin, be warned, I will make you say Hail Mary's for your bad behavior...
Also, I will make you confess your darkest desires and nastiest sins!
Today I will be hearing confessions...I will need to know the following:
-single or married
-how long it has been since your last confession (if you are Catholic)
-all your nasty sins and dirty desires
Afterwards, I will begin to question you about each detail of your naughty sins. After I have gathered all of the evidence, I will lead you through the appropirate punishment, and be sure...I only prescribe the most humiliating of penances.