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Mistress Avarice: Dubious Financial
Services For the
Welcome to Mistress Avarice’s
Dubious Financial Services Inc.
Our goal here at DFS is to help you to happily part with your money in a way that is both painful to you and profitable to Me.
We here at DFS realize the difficulty that some have had in finding a Mistress who is insatiably greedy and who will use you in the way that is befitting a Goddess.
DFS is possibly the only financial services group that will give you a written guarantee:
We guarantee that your investments will become My property, and will earn you a 0.00% interest rate, compounded quarterly.
We know you’ve run across the little girls who, quite frankly,
don’t realize the importance
of getting as much as they can
as quickly as they can,
and who may be worried about
hurting your lifestyle
or worse yet your “feelings”.
They’re so happy if you give them a couple of hundred bucks.
Pathetic creatures, truly.
Or the “financial dommes” who actually care
whether or not you get off on this.
Well suck it up, sweet cheeks,
because you won’t get that kind of pampering here.
The only pampering here will be what you can do for ME.
And yes, I do know what that does to you, and quite frankly,
I really couldn’t care less.
(Although I do get a giggle out of it once in a while!)
We offer many distinctive services to allow you to part with what is in your wallet and on your credit cards.
(I urge you to run up the cards to the max, and then to move on to your bank accounts…more bang for your buck!)
Some of the services we offer:
CD’s: CD’s sell from $50 to $150 for whatever I decide to record on them, delivered to your door, or downloadable off of the internet, and from $200. on up for personalization.
Bill Pay Insurance: You choose one or more of a variety of bills and insure that they will be paid for a specified period of time. (3 month minimum, 2 months in advance due at time of sign-up)
Pay Me Now: Just as it says; send me some money. Anything less than $50. is an insult and will be used to clean up after my adorable (and expensive) cats.
Annuities: Choose an amount from My annuities list, and send it to Me every year. This is one of the easiest ways to contribute to My fabulous lifestyle!