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I come from German ancestry and have lived throughout North America and a while in Hawaii . My childhood was shaped by strict discipline in academics and classical studies. From a young age, Pain and Pleasure; Suffering and Martyrdom; Control and Power; Purity and Submission. These are the forces that have always been in constant flux in my world. I find calm in tha storm. I began delving into sado-masochism at the start of my sexual awakening. I remember coaxing my teen-age girlfriend over my lap for a sound spanking after I had bound her wrists with stockings. I used the candles that were lit for decoration to drip hot wax on the back of her thighs and reddened, bare buttocks. In another situation, I dressed my high school boyfriend in my lingerie and prettied his lips with the same crimson lipstick I wore. I ordered him to tuck his genitals between his legs. I wanted him to resemble me as I kissed and fondled him.