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Reverend Dix

Salvation is Not Free You Must Pay for Harry Dix

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If there is one thing that I’ve learned from my time as both a homosexual stripper, anus destroyer, all around tough guy, and more recently as a reverend in a Southern Baptist church it is that nothing that is worth having comes for free.  In the Scriptures which are the Word of God and His commandments for us living on Earth God demands that we give Him ten percent of our income.  Unfortunately that percentage only applies when you are flying right in all of the other avenues of your life.

 

Until you have mastered my faggot reconditioning method it is good to remember that you are trying to prove that you are indeed worthy in the eyes of God.  That means that you need to give everything that you can to God in hopes that I will be able to prove that not only are you a devoted and truly saved person but also devoted to God and His chosen people.  I have already given until it hurts and the only one that I will get on my knees for is Jesus Christ Himself.

 

This is but one of the trials that you will face in my ordeal that demands nothing less than total discipline and devotion to the Lord of Hosts.  Therefore the money that you give to the Lord and His servant, the humble Reverend Dix, is the next best thing to truly saving yourself.

 

Faithfully in His service,

Reverend Harry Dix