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Forced Inhalation, For My Profit LOSER

I personally profit off of your disgusting habit. I own many, many shares of Altria AND Phillip Morris and your smoking puts money in my portfolio! You are going to smoke your ass off for me. You will puff, puff and blow, blow. I will make you blow rings, hold in the smoke, and anything else that I might feel up to at the moment. You better have a lot of cigarettes on hand before you call me!!

I love making losers smoke, smoke, smoke. Why? Well, I have a vested interest of course!! So basically, the more I make you smoke, the more money you make me!! How about buying me an additional share of tobacco stock?:

I also must mention that I think smoking is disgusting. I think men who smoke small bad, have bad teeth, and are WEAK because they can't break their nasty habit. This disgust doesn't stop me from making a pretty dollar off of you though!! I couldn't even give a shit if you get lung cancer--lung cancer lawsuits will only bring down the cost of the stock.

Make sure that when you call me you have plenty of smokes, and also some alcohol to drink so that you can fund my alcohol stock as well! hahhahaha, Lite up, smelly!!