As a powerful, successful, gorgeous brunette, I can sense it on you.
You ache with longing at the thought of running your putrid hand across my perfect porcelain skin.
You yearn for my melodious voice to form your name, even once.
You reach for the tiny twiching mass between your legs as I glide through your brain, sublime and unequaled.
It really is too bad that you're so not worth my time. When you call, and you know you will, expect to be fully ignored. I'll simply pick up the phone and then continue on with whatever I was doing before you attempted to thrust your meager self into my life.
You may have the privledge of listening to me do my homework. Perhaps you'll listen to me watch TV or chat with friends. If you're extremely fortunate, you might even be able to listen to me urinate into the bowl that's still worth more to me than you are.
You could, of course, attempt to sway me with your intelligence, your charm, or your pocket book. I'm betting that none of those are significant enough to warrent my attention though.
If I'm extremely bored or you've managed to attain my momentary interest through a sufficently large tribute, I might speak with you, even for a few seconds.
Don't hold your breath though.
On second thought, it might actually be amusing to me if you do. That might be worth a word or two - or a good laugh at your pathetic expense.
Go on, pick up the phone.
Nov. 10th - My first call, but the little boy on the other end didn't seem to understand the concept of being ignored. It started off well enough. He acknowledged, like a good little pay pet, that he was calling to have his wallet drained. When I did exactly as I promised, he abruptly hung up. How very tragic, what are they teaching in schools these days? Here, I'll help you figure this out. Some definitions of IGNORE are as follows:
Refuse to acknowledge.
Fail to notice.
Bar from attention or consideration.
Give little or no attention to.
Does that clear things up a bit? For those of you with more brain cells to rub together than the number of testicles that would be found in a real mans scrotum, and who can actually understand the concept of being ignored, call now.