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Q: Dear Christina: Here's my question...My girlfriend, now my ex-girlfriend, broke up with me because she caught me jerking off to some f'd up internet porn, and because I didn't clear my cache this other time, she knew in general I look at some pretty f'd up sites. I told her that I used the porn just to jack off and that I'm really not interested in doing any of that stuff in real life. And I explained that type of orgasm is very different from the ones I have with her. But I don't think she could get over that in her head or understand why I would even need to jerk off when she was around. And looking back, I think that I shouldn't have been jerking off when she was around, that was selfish. I want to try to get back with her. She hasn't been returning my calls or answering my emails or texts. I want to message one of her friends online, to even see if I should be sticking my neck out. What do you think I should do next, if anything? B.

A: It sounds as though you explained why you use the porno in a very factual way. Guys are visual and need visuals to jack off to. And sometimes really nasty ones. The brain and the dick have to work together. I do think your mistake was that you were doing it when she was around, and also that she caught you. In any future relationship, I would save the jacking off to times when you know you're alone or your girlfriend is taking a long shower ha. And clear your cache, hide your bookmarks! Girls definitely know to look for web porn on their man's computer or phone. You know in the old days, girls went looking for the porn stash in the closet or under the bed. Finding a few innocent magazines or videos was no big deal, but internet porn is a huge tempting candy store, and sometimes the candy is nasty! Honestly, I don't think you have much of a chance to get back with this girl. but it sounds as though you have learned a lesson and would like to communicate that to her. I would message her friend to find out if your ex is seeing anyone at this point. If not, I might make one last ditch effort. Send her flowers! And a short note. If she doesn't respond, hang it up.