Phone Sex

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Uh, Hello?

Sandee here. And I'm the BITCH DELIGHT you didn't expect!

So you thought you'd try flirting with a younger girl, did you? I am the one you saw in the grocery store. At the gas station. The library. The pub. The restaurant. The laundromat. The DMV. The Church. The State Park. Wherever. Whenever.

Hot, and totally UNAVAILABLE to your type, aren't I?

I bet you had NO idea just how MEAN I can be! But you'll soon find out. You all do in the end, after all.

I might tell you all about how I described you to my girlfriends -- and they ALL laughed at what a FREAK or a CREEP you sound like. It's the truth though, isn't it?

I might decide to just sit on my big, fluffy easy chair and file my nails, not saying a thing while you WHINE and complain and BEG for My attention. Hahaha. Would you like some CHEESE with that WHINE?

I might permit you to know what My wishlist is but that's only if you REALLY beg and plead with me. And you'd better do it well, too or I won't say a word. I'll just keep eating up minutes till you GET IT RIGHT, IDIOT!

And maybe...just MAYBE if you are PITIFUL enough? I'll sit and LAUGH my ASS off for minutes...hours...till My throat hurts since I LOVE TO LAUGH! Sound like FUN?

Look, I have nothing better to do then sit around accept calls from ASS BAGS like you, since I'm here at My Aunt's for the summer. So why not call and ACT as if you had a chance with Me for My attention? As if you did, right? Again. Hahaha.

Describe yourself and perhaps why, even YOU know you are a NIMROD. DORK. MORON. A totall F*CK up. Whatever. I am always interested in knowing what you are ALL about before I put My vice grip on you. My nails by the way are some of the SHARPEST around and I delight, when conversing with CRETONS like you in digging My fingernails REALLY deep into your arm and telling you how much of a TWIT and LAMENTABLE DOG you really are.

How have you MESSED UP your FAILURE of an existence today? CONFESS, ASS-WIPE! I will INSULT you till you f*cking CRY FOR MERCY if need be!

Okay. Think I've put enough time into this listing anyway. So call Me already and tell Me all about your INEPT self, if you DARE to.

Later, LOSER!!! ;P