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I'm very much into discipline, both roleplay and the "do it/ take it like a big girl, or I'll give you something to cry about" type. I want to be bought to tears, slowly and safely, from the pain and for the emotional release. Mind control, rules, humiliation and obidience intrigue me. I am very much into the psychological aspects of BDSM. I want to explore these, and want to be completely under the spell of him who controls me.

All photos are me, and I am exactly as I present myself... a 22 y/o submissive-by-nature, exploring fantasties and feelings that I have harboured all of my life.

Last night, I dreamt of a certain man, his mouth around but not on my nipples, his breath bringing my body into spasm after spasm. I could feel it, I swear I felt the orgasm. I fell asleep last night in a skin-tight, thin yellow stretch top, braless of course, work ID badge still on, panties crumbled around my ankles from last night's exhaustful orgasm. I woke with the shirt pulled taughtly over my tits, huge pink nipples exposed and neglected, awaiting.

Awaiting what?

I went through the day in a daze. I felt half violated, as if the night had bought about some mysterious visitor whose touch and grazes were enough to arouse and excite me to the point of orgasm, all within a mindless stupor. This, disgusting as it is, turned me on. But, of course, there was no nighttime rendezvous, it was all (somehow) in my head.

I know one cannot move during REM dreaming, certainly not to the point of masturbation and orgasm, but I swear he made me cum.

And THIS is what sexual deprivation does to you.

A dude at my work... not traditionally handsome, but his "couldn't-care-less" attitude sure makes me want to get on my knees. He has a few fancy piercings and says he has a pierced cock. As far as I am concerned, cock rings, barbells, and the sort are not ornamental. Any dude willing to shove a metal bar through his cock knows how to fuck.

I want to see that careless face staring down at me, me on my knees, trying to please, him all omniscent, indifferent, dominant from his refusal to dominate.

I drove him home tonite. Small talk about some of the calls we have received, some other people on our team, some of our facilitators. I should've asked if he was for real. Perhaps I'll work up the nerve next time.