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I just got those... and now they're all pooched out in front... you know perfectly well your big bulging self won't fit into that tiny triangle of fragile lace... I think you've ruined them, so... let's just tear them off anyway.
Oh my Goodness!!!
You really ARE glad to be here! You sure are a big, bad, sweaty beast, aren't you?
I shudder to think what it would be like if you were to try to put that huge thing into my tight little purse!
Okay, why don't we try on some stuff together, and talk about naughty things?
Would you like to know what all the girls are saying about you?
I can see it's true... you really DO have the biggest one anybody's EVER seen! Now how are we going to cover ALL THAT with little bits of tulle and spandex? I don't think it can be done, but... it sure will be fun trying!
It'll be even MORE fun if you call me right now...