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Listen up stupid money sluts, because I don't like to repeat Myself. I am the embodiment of everything you know you can NEVER have. I'm young, witty, tall, and sexy, with the body of a model and the mind of a sadist.
See this picture, piggy?
That's a photo of Me, looking over the deposits that My financial servants have forked over this month. You want your name there, don't you? To even have Me write your fucking name would be an honor to a bitch like you.
Come to Me with the full understanding that you will do ANYTHING I say, for My amusement and pleasure. You will EMPTY your wallet and if you don't have the means to play on MY level, do not bother calling Me.
Review My "piggy rules" below BEFORE calling Me
Begin each call with stating that you are a money pig
Expect to begin giving from the very first call with Me.
Ask to be dismissed before hanging up; I will make you pay dearly for anything that I deem as a rude exit.
Leaving 5 stars for your Lady will put Me in a good mood. Trust Me, this will be to your benefit because My bad moods will scare the hell out of your sorry ass
Now, stop wasting My time, and start paying Me, because I have things to do....with your money.