Approach my altar with respect, reverence, and readiness to worship with your time and your wallet.

The first step to serving me and feeding my insatiable hunger…besides you’re already doing so as you read these words; giving me your full, unadulterated attention.

Offer yourself to my whims, obey every command, shower me with your tributes and impress me with your submission. Not sure how? I’ll tell you.

And, if you are proven worthy, I may bestow you with the blessings of a true devotee.