Greetings Goddess worshippers, inheritance cucks, pay pigs and financial fuckboys! you’ve steered your way to Me because despite that big fat paycheck, something is still missing in your life; you lack a reason to keep grinding away at that desk, day after day, before you shuffle off this mortal coil – that "something" is a Goddess to shower with gifts, money, praise, and worship.
Well, now that you've found Me... you will address Me as Goddess Solanas.
Do not contact Me without making an introductory tribute:
$25 $50 $100 $250 $500
** Remember: there is no second chance to make a good first impression - pay up piglet! **
Intelligent, articlate, attractive and heavily tattooed, I am obviously too good for a loser like you. I'm hotter than your wife, your girlfriend, and that barista you never bother to tip but can't stop staring at. you're too weak to do anything except hand over your wallet to The Goddess Solanas; that's all that dull little wage slaves like you are good for - you are utterly incapable of emotionally or sexually fulfilling a supreme female being like Me.
you haven't even earned the privilege of looking upon My face, yet here you are, ready to pull out your wallet and beg Me to ruin you. That's a good idea - why don't you pull that wallet out and take a long look at its contents; starting today, everything in there is Mine. Do you really think you're ready for Me to rule (and then ruin) your sad little pindick life?
you've already come this far - take a deep breath, send money, and then step into My parlor, you sad little man-fly.