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Polyamorous

Openly Polyamorous & Kinky As Fuck! Wanna Play?

I've heard it all. Now I want to hear it from you. Let's talk about taboo stuff that makes other people squirm.
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My polyamorous boyfriend has another girlfriend. They live together & have done so 4 the better part of a decade. He doesn't demand that I am monogamous, but n his dream world, I would only date other women. That's because he's way into that, kinky beast that he is. He has admitted that he would have a hard time with me dating another man, but he understands that this is a pretty hypocritical stance given the fact that he goes home to another woman every night. I can't speak about every single person n a polyamorous relationship, I can only speak about my relationship, & even then mostly only from my perspective. When people find out that I'm not dating other men, they have a hard time reconciling that with the fact that I'm a feminist. To them, the fact that my polyamorous boyfriend is having sex with another woman is inherently sexist & disrespectful to me. On paper, I agree, but n practice, it's very different. I told myself at the start of this relationship that I didn't want to be a doormat again. After surviving a toxic & emotionally abusive relationship, I became a serial monogamist, latching on to two men who both weren't ready 4 something serious. The relationship I'm n now may be with a polyamorous man, but it's the first relationship I've been n where I feel safe. In large part, that's because of the logistics of dating a polyamorous person. There's a lot of scheduling, & we don't see each other as often as we would if we were monogamous. This means I have the time I didn't even know I needed to get back to myself. It sounds silly, but having time alone to go the gym, on a long walk, binge on video games & bad TV, these are the things nurture me & inner life. Those were also the things I'd given up n my emotionally abusive relationship. I lost a sense of who I was & what made me happy. I'm getting that back now. In a polyamorous relationship, there is less time & space to be coy or to play games. You have to say what u mean. You have to be aware of ur feelings. You have to be able to ask 4 what u want without being afraid that the other person is going to abandon you. I say no to my boyfriend more often than I say no to anyone else, because I feel the freedom to knowing how much he loves me. Not wanting to go to the movies isn't going make him not love me anymore. My feminist sensibilities understand that he loves getting his cake & eating too, but he's not a (total) Neanderthal. He knows that his sexual fantasies don't mesh with reality. Being a feminist doesn't mean that I get to judge the behavior of other women. Being a feminist means that I get to be vocal n my belief that men & women are equal & should be treated so n all areas. If I am well & truly happy, & my partner is happy, & his partner is happy, that is the end of that. Ideology is important. You've got to have a system of belief to exist on this planet. But life is more than ideas, it's action. My partner is polyamorous AND he treats women as his equals. My partner is polyamorous AND he sees me as a human being with ideas & beliefs worthy of time & attention. Things change. That's the nature of the universe. I don't doubt that I will change with them. But right now, that's the truth as I see it & believe it. That's the way I'm living it, & there's nothing, n my opinion, more feminist than that.